What's most annoying is that for 95% of users, federation doesn't even matter. You just log on and use lemmy exactly like reddit. All feds are consolidated onto my front page anyway.
People make a big deal about it, it definitely intimidated me when I first logged up. It's one of the reasons I put off getting into lemmy for such a long time, and it's frustrating that in the end, it really makes no difference.
Maybe to someone who has never once used email. But, even then, you could say "It's like choosing a car, some look different, but they can all use the same roads." If someone has never used a car, you could say "It's like choosing a brand of underwear". If they don't use underwear, do we really want them here?
Because you have to make a choice. If you go to a restaurant and say "I'd like a meal, please" they'll make you choose one from the menu. It doesn't matter to them which one you choose, you just have to choose.
In this case, some Lemmy instance needs to be the one where you sign in. Most of them probably don't care if you choose them or not. But, if you want to use Lemmy, at some point you have to make a choice.