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Conservapedia is absolutely wacky.
The curator, one Andrew Schlafly, once tried to write a new, improved, "more conservative" version of the Bible. But, Mr. Schlafly is neither a historian nor a linguistic scholar, and he couldn't consult the source texts. So, his way of "correcting the liberal bias" found in modern translations of the Bible was just to change the words in a modern English translation (probably the 1611 KJV) to better fit his politics.
One of the changes I remember reading about was altering the words in The Beatitudes to be things like, "Blessed are the managers, for they provide for their employees," and such. He also deleted parts he didn't agree with, like removing one of Jesus' utterances from the cross: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." According to Schlafly, Jesus' executioners knew exactly what they were doing and thus shouldn't have been forgiven.
Imagine changing the Bible version of Jesus to supply side Jesus unironically. I swear my ribs hurt from laughing at the OP and your comment, thank you, I needed that.
Isn't revising the Bible in this fashion, you know, heresy? Wouldn't churches disapprove of this?
Most Christian churches would probably consider it so, but I doubt any would do anything about it beyond writing an open letter
In an academic sense, no, revising the Bible is not heresy (though some branches of Christianity will call you a heretic for it anyhow). Every time one sect or another of Christianity wants to put out a new translation, they will also consider some revisions based on things like newly discovered manuscripts or breakthroughs in ancient linguistics.
That was not what Mr. Schlafly was doing, though. He was taking an already existing English translation of the Bible and rewording it to suit his politics. As such, yes, it would definitely be considered heresy by some people. In fact, his harshest critics were other conservative Christians, especially those with actual academic credentials in the field of Biblical Studies.
According to revelations it can literally get you removed from the book of life.
For years I thought this website was a parody of conservatives! You can't be telling me that someone actually, genuinely, believes this shit!
It seems outrageous, but either they really believe their own nonsense, or it's one of the longest and most convincing trolling campaigns ever waged.
My vote is that it's 100% sincere. One of Andrew Schlafly's other misadventures involved harassing the head of a microbiology research team because they had shown evolution in bacteria in a laboratory. Sending formal emails to this one specific scientist seems well outside what someone who was just in it for the laughs would do.
It started off as sincere, but the minute it launched Poe's law ate it.
Holy shit that is hilarious.
Not really a fan of RationalWiki, but they seem to have a decent writeup and their examples are killing me:
KJV Luke 11:53-4
And as he [Jesus] said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things Laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.
"Conservative Bible" Luke 11:53-4
As Jesus told them off, the scribes and Pharisees furiously interrogated Him about everything, plotting and seeking to quote Him for a politically incorrect remark to use against Him.
KJV Luke 12:43-4
Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing. Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath.
Conservative Bible
Blessed is that manager, whose employer finds working so diligently. Truly I tell you, he will promote that manager to run all of his affairs.
KJV 1 Corinthians 1:17
For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
Conservative Bible
In any case, Christ didn't send me to baptize. He sent me to preach the gospel, but not with the kind of liberal claptrap that would make Christ's sacrifice ineffectual.
I'm fucking rolling.
Yah, chronicling the shenanigans at Conservapedia is one of RW's strong points.
Phyllis Schlafly was a fucking cancer
wtf