It really sucks being a parent with ADHD having a kid with ADHD understanding the struggles while also having to say "You need to figure out what will work for you to focus on this stuff. Also, just try some of these suggestions to see if they work instead of refusing to try at all."
Like I understand the struggle and still end up sounding like that just because figuring out something to improve the situation is necessary although it isn't quite the same thing as 'try harder'. Just keep trying until you figure out something that improves the situation.
For me, it's all about someone trying to help me, together.
I'm lucky that a few of my coworkers understand the feeling that working on a thing together (even if it's separate tasks) can achieve the larger goal. It's much better than going alone, or with someone who tries to play director/boss.
ADHD sucks. It's a pain in the ass to get my meds, the meds help, but I still have good days and bad days. I don't think it's nearly as debilitating as a crushed hand, I don't even put it on the same level as depression. That said everyone has a different toolbox for their issues, and some people are better equipped than others.
I have adhd, anxiety, and depression. My spouse has anxiety, cpsd, and depression. We really enjoyed remote work before we were called back to the office.