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Get a bidet, Lemmy
Then how will I tell if my insides are bleeding?
With your fingers 🙂
Okay! But fair warning I'm the opposite of handy
It's remarkably easy and cheap ($40 or so). Just have to turn off the valve for the water intake to the toilet, connect the bidet, and reconnect the intake. It'll change your life.
Good luck!
If only I had power next to my toilet 😭
(No I'm not using cold water; I'm cold enough already)
Get an extension cord?
Honestly cold water is not bad. If that's your deal breaker find a $30 Bidet attachment and give it a try.
Dude I don't even drink cold water unless it's a very hot day because I have precious little body heat and it takes a long time to get it back.
The idea of getting frozen by the crotch/butt does not amuse me.
Hey yeah, i get it (or, to some extent) . I am chronically cold due to being a healthy weight and having poor circulation. I wear thermals and hoodies year round even when it's 90+ out. But for me it's the extremeties and my ass isn't too bad.
But to be more constructive, since you know yourself better than anyone. If this is really a deal breaker then id look into getting an extra outlet installed in your bathroom which can vary on price depending on the type of wall (and their service minimum-- if you have other electrical needs you night be able to tackle all at once). It's been a few years since i had a new outlet installed but i got it for around $250/ outlet. Might be as high as $400-500 for your set up.
And an electric Bidet lid with heated water will cost you $250-500 (maybe there are cheaper ones but I'm just going by some options i looked at for my partner).
Low end $500, high end $1000 for outlet+Bidet. I'm assuming you can install the Bidet lid yourself (it wasn't hard, promise).
Now i can't do the next math for you, so I'll share my toilet math. Costco toilet paper is ~$24/30 rolls (I'm using the price online which may be higher than warehouse, but also closer to other stores). I used to go though a roll per week because my hairy ass loved to play marker with the TP. After i got a Bidet my TP usage dropped my at least 4x. A roll lasts me a long time. So if my weekly cost of TP used to be $1.25 then I'm saving $3.75/ month. And that's just me maybe you have more people using the restroom. So saving $45/year. We're looking at 10 years to break even from a cost perspective for the low end of things.
Ok, maybe that doesn't make the most sense from a cost perspective. My cheapo bidet paid itself off within a year.
Outside of cost id say this:
- i feel much cleaner.
- Ass sweat doesnt feel like I'm making a poo swamp
- my butt thanks me. No more raw asshole
- if you're in a house with septic system, less TP in the septic system. (This could potentially decrease the amount of time between pumps).
Sorry for the long message. I spent 3 decades thinking my sister was the weirdo for buying a Bidet and i wish i wouldve made the change sooner
This answer seems angry for no reason. So I guess you just reallly can't chill.
Sorry, I'm not angry at you. I just got a pre-emptively emotional reaction to the prospect of being cold.
There are actually hot-water ones that don't use power. They use a second water hose to connect to the hot water pipe under your sink. I've never used one though, so can't comment on how nice/unnice they are to use - but the LUXE 320 seems set up for that
Sadly, that would be even more difficult. My toilet is across from my sink, so there would really be no safe way to hook it up that wouldn't imply someone who really knows what they're doing. At that point it'd probably be easier to hire an electrician to add a power plug.
But that sounds expensive, and I'm a renter...
I’ve got two in my house, both Totos. One was like $900 and the other around $350 at Costco. The Costco one is more than enough. Should have saved some money!
You could've saved a heckuva lot more money. I have two in my house as well, both were about $45 each and those were the luxury versions! My old ones were about $25.
They're non-electric LUXE Bidet brand, activated solely by water pressure when you turn the dial on them. No fancy bells and whistles, but they have pretty decent water pressure and get the job done.
I've had a few of these over the years, possibly the best value for price ever. Every place I live, I just get another one and leave it there like some kind of Johnny Bidetseed.
I definitely overspent. I had no idea what I was doing. I had a layover in Tokyo and after that I knew I had to have one. Didn’t know what features I needed (or my wife) so I just picked the top one.
The never ending hot water is nice but totally unnecessary. Few other differences but not enough to justify the price.
The heated seats were mandatory for my wife lol. Only reason I was able to convince her.
$27 dollars from Walmart a few months back, best investment in a long time. I now barely use any toilet paper as it is just to dab dry. I'm sure I have already made the money back with toilet paper prices these days
I've got the same one, $38.55 from amazon right now. My dad's got one of the fancy expensive ones. I actually prefer the cheaper ones - this probably varies by area and brand, but because mine runs on the home's water pressure and his is powered, mine ends up being able to deliver significantly more force. They have a self-cleaning mode too.
Bidets aren't a luxury item for rich people. Everyone reading should get one. You can blame me if you end up not liking it.
Plus you don’t have to be like me and have an electrician come out and install outlets behind the toilets
Yup, the cheap one works just fine as long as there's good water pressure from the pipe, it's basically an upside down tap that aim at your butt, no fancy needed.
We have one $450 Toto and one cheap one from Luxe that currently sells on Amazon for $63. I actually prefer the Luxe because it sprays harder. It just uses the ambient water pressure while the Toto self-pressurizes. I think my wife prefers the Toto because of the other functions like the heated seat and the preheated water.
When I have to poop away from home I feel like a barbarian. I seriously miss the bidets when I travel or have to poop at work.
I have the same feelings as you. I tell my wife I feel like an unsophisticated savage when I have to use toilet paper. Never feels clean enough using just TP! I usually just end up showering lol
When I have to poop away from home I feel like a barbarian.
A year or two ago i could've written that. Then i discovered travel Bidets. I have one that is a small bottle i fill up at the sink. Then i also have a Bidet that is just a cap for a plastic water bottle. That one is real tiny so easy to take places.
So if I'm going on a trip i take the small bottle one, and if I'm just going out then i bring the cap