Meatspin
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Got my first real concussion on one of those things. All I remember is that one minute I was flying off of it and the next minute I was at home and I had been there for several hours.
It's a teleportation device.
Teleports kids to the ER
ER?
Look at you with your fancy "Healthcare" and "Insurance"!
We treated wounds via walking them off, and occasionally hiding behind a tree to sob silently so you didn't get laughed at.