Skip Navigation

Men in their 40s, what’s one piece of advice for men in their 20s?

215

You're viewing a single thread.

215 comments
  • Get in shape. Lift weights, do cardio, eat healthy. Cut garbage food out of your life completely; no cheat days ever - it needs to be a complete lifestyle, not a "diet". Learn what macros are, and follow them. Take up running, and make it a habit so that you run every. Single. Day, sun, shine, hail, or snow. (Yes, you can get snowshoes for running in snow. I like barefoot shoes, since that's easier on my knees and back, but they take a long time to get used to.)

    Get an education. Go to school. DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR PASSION; get an education in something that you can stand doing and will actually be employable. Following your passion and trying to make a living doing it leads to burnout. Let your passion be it's own thing, instead of something that you try to make money from. EDIT - an "education" can also mean going to trade school, if you can't stomach the idea of sitting behind a desk all day for 40 years. Yes, take English lit classes and art classes if you're passionate about it, but do that for fun. Depending on a fun thing for keeping a roof over your head quickly leads to fun not being fun anymore.

    • DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR PASSION

      Fuck this. I'm a computer guy who didn't finish high school (credits wouldn't transfer) and got a GED so I could start college early. I didn't finish that either. I got a job among CS grads at one of the most prestigious tech companies because I spent a ton of energy learning about computers because that shit was exciting to me.

      I'm bored and lazy as fuck about it now. I'm still learning new things (started a new homelab again two months ago) but it's nothing like when I was younger and had a ton of energy to stay up until dawn learning. I had no future and it still worked out because I pursued my passion to the fullest degree.

      If your passion isn't marketable, perhaps this makes sense. But the all caps "this is a truth" way that this was presented really rubbed me the wrong way.

      I love and support education. Go to school. Get an education. Most people will likely not build a career without that. But holy shit, if you're hardcore about a thing and that thing can make you money, you might be able to do without the education only because your education comes from spending every minute of every day educating yourself outside of the system.

      Ok, going back to bed. Apologies if any of this is muddled.

      • Relatable. I've been working in IT for over eight years now. I didn't study it because I didn't qualify for university and people constantly told me I am so bad at math that I would never work in the field. Here I am, doing exactly that, just because I was really interested in computer stuff in my youth and learned something new almost every day just by myself.

        I was also able to study at a design school for two years. I have already used this knowlege to design brochures, logos and various other things for customers successfully. My art teacher in school always said to me I would never be able to do something like this because she just didn't like my art style.

        I'm glad I never listened to all of these people and did indeed follow my passion. The added bonus is that I actually like my job (most of the time).

    • Counterpoint to all the young people: Never listen to ANYONE who tells you not to follow your passion.

      It's better to try, fail and learn than it is to grow old and wonder what could have been

      • Trying and failing with a lot of passions means a lot of debt and lost time. Student debt happens to be debt that you can't discharge through bankruptcy either.

        But you ignored the central point - for most people, taking a thing that they love doing for enjoyment and turning it into something that they have to do every single day or risk being homeless sucks the love right out of it.

        • Do you have any data to back up your second point? I know dozens of people that have made careers out of passions that they discovered in high school and college. And those are only the people that I've asked about it.

          But we could expand a little bit and make your claim more likely to be true, and also more reasonable. For example, if Jimmy loves playing the guitar, he could try to form a rock band and get successful enough to make a living touring. That's kind of hard. Possible but the odds are against him. So he might try that and later transition to some other job that's still in entertainment. This example, and generally the shift from a single job to something else that's related to it, is something that young people should expect. Focusing too much on one area could be a weakness if you have to change jobs later. And in general, the majority of workers will make major changes to their careers at least once in their lives.

        • No it doesn't. Didn't for me. I lived in a twenty year old Ford explorer for almost a year pursuing mine. Didn't succeed or make it big, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world. Not every dream relies on college loans, dude. Not if you're an artist.

          I'd go so far as to say man, many dreams people have don't require a degree.

          And if they do? DO IT ANYWAY. I attended two years of college for film. Never got a career out of it. Still paying off my debt. Still don't regret ANY of it.

          Still getting by on the strings of my butt hairs in my 40s. Still wouldn't take any of it back.

          Never sucked the love for either dream out of it. Did I get depressed? Sure. Did I go through a lot of shit and a lot of disappointment? Definitely. I'm two years out from failing in my latest attempt at pursuing one of my many dreams. You couldn't pay me all the money in the world to take it back.

          You're speaking to me.... about me. About my experiences and telling me how it made me feel. Sorry my dude, I can't agree with you.

          Take those chances. The memories are worth it. The stories are worth it. The lessons you learn along the way are definitely worth it, homie

215 comments