needadvice

My sister Lena’s friend (they are no longer friends actually) Ashlyn (14) seems to have an inflated ego. She thinks she’s better than everyone else and puts people down to prove it.

She specifically targets Lena because she’s there with her and Lena seems to be her scapegoat when something goes wrong. She takes her anger out on Lena and scolds her when something happens (ex: if someone drops something, she screams “Dammit Lena!”). One time, she went to our house to visit Lena and said “I SWEAR TO GOD LENA. I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU” but then told me she was joking.

She says several racial slurs and the K-word and such to people as well because “she has the right as a black person”, even though she’s not just saying the N word.

I remember once she tried to “ruin Lena’s life” because Ashlyn apparently had a boyfriend or something but was being romantic with another guy. The first guy eventually found out and broke up with Ashlyn. This made her mad that Lena asked if she was still with the first guy (not knowing he found out and broke up).

I tried mediating something with Lena and Ashlyn in the past, but Ashlyn told me “It’s just the way I am, I’m neurodivergent with mental illnesses.”

So yeah, I’m at least very glad that Ashlyn won’t be coming to our house for a while.

If I mention my friend's boyfriend once, I'm obsessed with her dating life.

If I send a "gotta go" text to someone, which takes a few seconds, I'm suddenly wasting time and always on my phone.

If I calmly tell my grandma that her statement is not true, she says I'm easily offended and being a snowflake.

If I say the name of a TV show, they think I'm unhealthily obsessed with it.

I'm yelled at if I'm not the ideal, quiet girl. Is this normal? How can I let them get to know me like they want to do?

Every time I talk to my family about something, and my grandma happens to be in the room (almost always), I could bring up something such as school friends (since my family will ask if anything exciting happened), and I’ll bring up something ONCE like: “I’m so happy for my friend Ella. She’s liked this dude, Michael, for a long time, and now they’re finally together!”

Suddenly, my grandma will say “You know, it’s so WEIRD that you’re obsessed with Ella’s dating life? Why are you being so WEIRD?”

I’ll calmly respond with, “I’m just happy for her. I’m talking about things that happened at school.”

She’ll tell me that I get offended too easily and that I’m oppressing her, that she can’t say ANYTHING without me getting offended.

When I told my family that I just got diagnosed with a disorder and was trying to process it, she told me I was obsessed with “being mentally ill and making it my whole personality”, when I only mentioned being tested for it a few times.

She frequently makes comments when I say anything about a topic, and then when I calmly tell her that her comment isn’t true, she thinks that I’m upset with her and stuff.

How do I deal with the comments? I live with her, BTW.

My neighborhood has a free food pantry that is used heavily, but vandals smashed it to pieces overnight. I'm funding a replacement but having trouble figuring out the best option for something pre-built. Ideally it will be at least 5ft tall and no more than 2ft deep with several shelves. I want something sturdy that will withstand the elements, deter raccoons, and will be difficult to smash. Any price, no budget. Any recs for specific outdoor cabinets or an Earth-friendly vendor? Or should I just reach out to a local carpenter to build one?

Located in PA, USA

Edit: I spoke with my local Habitat for Humanity and they are donating a pantry for us!

I fell a few months ago and landed on my head and spine (it was the corner of an object so I landed perfectly down the center from head to tailbone).

After a few weeks of head issues it all pretty much cleared up, until last week when I started having severe back pain to the point where I can't walk much. I feel like I'm going to pass out from the pain and my whole body feels like it's burning from the inside out.

There is nothing on imaging or labwork. Strong meds like oxy did not help much if at all. I am also overdo for arthritis medication so was fighting a ton of inflammation and pain already.

What can I do until a specialist sees me? I have to wait for insurance approval and then an appointment, which could take months since they are so busy.

Am going to keep it short. Am 26 currently been working for uber and lyft. I got admitted into Arizona State University last year. My entrance exams included mathematics. I have always struggled with mathematics all my life and the most i can do is basic number sets and operations and that's it. Please don't bother recommending any way to improve because trust me i have tried. My mom is a teacher and a counselor and my dad was a teacher as well. All my siblings are well educated in math and they have tried and i have deleted my YouTube, Facebook, gym membership etc. to focus and nothing has changed and even fell in love with it but every time i would fall asleep during math's class. Please please please please, if anyone has a good career advice or any solution to bypass this and get into a career that is rewarding and deserves my handwork, i will appreciate it. I've had no zeal to move on with life anymore because of am very ambitious, good person and hardworking. I wanted to plead to my fellow humans for help and that's all i have before i make my next decision!