https://lemmy.world/post/21641802

women who had their last kid after 33 had double the chance of living to 95 or older as opposed to those who had their last one by 29. According to a 2020 study, women who gave birth after 40 were four times more likely to live to be a 100 years old.

Renew your mitochondria. Rejuvenate your cells. Bring back that youthful muscle strength. Improve your fertility.

Over the past several years, a plethora of new supplements have emerged on the scene, promising to boost human longevity and preserve youthfulness. Now, longevity doctors are scrambling to get people to slow down.

“In our clinic, we are de-prescribing,” Dr. Andrea Maier, a leading longevity doctor who runs both a private and a public longevity clinic in Singapore, told Business Insider. “We first have to diagnose what’s wrong, what somebody needs, and that might differ.”

Maier, also a professor of medicine and functional aging at the National University of Singapore, is one of several longevity medicine doctors who told BI that they are recommending patients stop taking many of the supplements they have learned about online.

“People think that more helps more, and it’s not the case,” Dr. Evelyne Bischof, who practices longevity medicine in China, Switzerland, and Israel, told BI. “There are interactions, there are side effects.”

Bischof and other longevity medicine practitioners say the trend toward overdoing it has been supercharged in recent years by more aggressive and flashy online marketing of longevity supplements. Ads on Facebook, books by longevity influencers, along with gyms and resorts are touting antiaging fixes.

According to a recent McKinsey survey, demand for healthy aging products is soaring; 70% of American consumers across all age groups are spending more in this category than they used to post-pandemic.

Doctors like Maier and Bischof say supplements can slowly build up to dangerous health issues, impacting vital organs like the kidneys and the liver or interacting with other drugs and supplements in toxic combinations.

Increasingly, they are seeing concerning results from blood, urine, and other tests on patients who take many different products. Overdoing supplements can hurt your health hand with lots of different supplements in it More isn’t always more when it comes to taking supplements Strauss/Curtis/Getty Images

In the past, patients typically hadn’t invested in healthy aging supplements on their own. They would learn about them for the first time from their longevity medicine doctor, said Bischof, who serves patients at hospitals in Shanghai and Tel Aviv, as well as in her own VIP concierge longevity medicine business. Related stories

Things have shifted since the pandemic. In the public clinic where she works in Israel, she estimates that 20% of patients come in with a laundry list of longevity supplements in their regimen, most of them too highly dosed.

“Five years ago, it was really the opposite,” Bischof said. “It was trying to convince a patient to actually take a supplement — besides the vitamins.”

In her practice, she has seen through clinical testing how supplements can build up in vital organs. One 40-year-old patient who “really overdid” his longevity supplement doses had a biological age four years older than his actual age, as measured by his blood. He also had suboptimal kidney function.

He didn’t want to quit taking the pills (Bischof did not name the products), but his subsequent blood tests were only looking worse and worse, and his biological age kept creeping up.

Eventually, Bischof was able to convince the patient to stop taking his longevity supplements. “And, of course, the biological age reversed,” she said.

Others have noticed the same trend.

Pharmacologist Myriam Merarchi, founder and CEO of the Swiss fertility and biological age testing company Beyond Genomix, sees a lot of “biohackers” wanting to test their telomeres, since telomere health is tightly correlated with aging. The ones with a “suitcase” full of supplements tend to have horrible results.

“You take 50 pills a day that are interfering with every metabolic pathway of your cells,” Merarchi said. “Of course!” The interactions doctors worry about Maier with a dog on the couch Dr. Andrea Maier often recommends that patients pare down their supplement regimens. Courtesy of Andrea Maier

Longevity supplements are a booming market. Popular new products touted on TikTok and Instagram include NAD boosters (a popular antiaging supplement among the Hollywood elite), urolithin A (ostensibly boosts cellular health, improves muscle strength, and slows aging), and coenzyme Q10 (a popular antioxidant for fertility and aging).

Doctors are also seeing a lot of alpha-ketoglutarate (AKG). The compound, being studied clinically as a potential antiaging supplement, is one of the main ingredients in a new $49 “Longevity Mix” sold by tech biohacker Bryan Johnson.

Dietician Naras Lapsys, chief clinical officer at Chi Longevity, a private clinic in Singapore, says many people are piling these newer pills on top of older, popular longevity supplements. That could be resveratrol (used for heart health) or spermidine (touted as being good for rejuvenating cells).

“If you’re taking a longevity supplement, there’s no evidence to suggest at all taking one is good and therefore two is even better and three is even better again,” Lapsys said. “A good starting point is to strip down to a lesser number and start measuring.”

Someone who’s dehydrated regularly might want to think twice before taking a supplement like NMN, which can build up in the kidneys and cause inflammation. CoQ10 can make blood thinners less effective, and resveratrol might help hormonal cancers like breast cancer thrive and proliferate.

“If you are just taking supplements because a book has told you or an influencer has told you, if we think about levels of evidence, that sits pretty low,” Lapsys said. “Test, don’t guess.” Experts recommend a personalized, data-driven approach

All of this is deeply personal. One patient might benefit from getting more calcium, while another could benefit from ditching their B vitamins.

“I understand that not everybody can get a doctor,” Bischof said. “We’re trying to say, just educate yourself on what could be the side effect and how — a little bit — to track it.”

For patients who are excited about longevity supplements, Bischof recommends cycling them, taking one for a few months, and then pausing instead of taking them continuously throughout the year.

When you are taking a new kind of longevity supplement, you should keep tabs on how it is affecting your health in specific ways. Is your VO2 max improving? Do you have fewer colds during flu season than you used to? These are the kinds of simple check-ins that can help determine if a supplement is doing something for you.

“Have at least one marker that you can follow, an objective marker, to make sure that it’s actually helping you,” Bischof said. “Do not take something where you think it might help. You need to have an objective measure that will confirm that it works for you at this dose, at this frequency, at this age, in your current situation.”

“No regrets” is a fun slogan for a T-shirt or tattoo. But it certainly wasn’t the motto of How to Win Friends and Influence People author Dale Carnegie. In fact, his approach was the exact opposite.

Carnegie–the granddaddy of self-improvement advice–forced himself to minutely note down his every slip-up, embarrassment, and dunderheaded mistake and file them in a folder he colorfully titled, “Damned Fool Things I Have Done.”

That was decades ago, but modern psychology research confirms Carnegie was on to something. Facing your regrets in this way may be brutal on your ego, but science shows it is also a brilliant way to learn from your mistakes and build a life that you’re truly proud of. Even Dale Carnegie had plenty of regrets

Carnegie’s biography details his mania for keeping his “damn fool” folders. “I put in that folder, month after month, written records of the damned fool things I have been guilty of,” Carnegie explains. “I sometimes dictate these memos to my secretary, but sometimes they are so personal, so stupid, that I am ashamed to dictate them, so I write them in longhand.”

FEATURED VIDEO

An Inc.com Featured Presentation

A blog called “The Art of Manliness” recently dug up some entries from those folders. Many will strike the average entrepreneur as quite familiar. Plenty of Carnegie’s missteps are the kind of everyday awkwardness or thoughtlessness most of us have experienced, but try to forget as quickly as possible. Examples include:

“Wasted ten minutes in an unnecessary harangue with the phone company about their shortcomings.”

“H.P. Gant made an extraordinary success as toastmaster tonight. I should have complimented him highly, but I was so absorbed in myself that I neglected to say any words of appreciation.”

“While teaching the 5-7 PM class, that ‘all Tammany politicians are crooks,’ or something nearly that. Joseph Davern, an ardent Catholic, took a feeling of exception to it. It was just at the time that religious controversy regarding Al Smith’s religion was developing. Davern made a most excellent speech on tolerance, decrying the fact that I should make such an unguarded and unfounded accusation. I apologized.”

This is a healthy reminder that even the most seemingly put-together people flub their lines and lose their tempers just like the rest of us. But according to a boatload of modern science, there is also a deeper lesson to Carnegie’s “Damned Fool Things I Have Done” folder. Your regrets are a goldmine of insight

Regrets, psychological research shows, are actually a rich source of learning and motivation. And all you have to do to claim this motherlode of insight is be brave enough to follow Carnegie’s example and actually mine your worst moments for lessons.

Many of us are naturally inclined to go the other way, pushing thoughts of our most embarrassing or ill-judged moments out of our minds as soon as possible. We try to forget roads not taken that may have led us somewhere better in life. But recent research out of Cornell University and the New School found that strategy neither takes the sting out of the regret nor teaches us anything.

Regrets you refuse to face just simmer endlessly beneath the surface, draining your life of satisfaction and joy perpetually. Instead of boxing up your feelings of regret, these studies suggest forcing yourself to carefully examine them, Dale Carnegie-style. This often leads to ideas on how to create a life that’s more in line with your true values and aspirations.

For example, Shai Davidai, one of the psychologists behind this research, always regretted not accepting a job at a ski resort earlier in his life because it conflicted with an exam he was due to take. In part motivated by his own findings, he faced his nagging regret about choosing duty over adventure and vowed to take one adventurous trip a year and be more intentional about exploring his city on the weekends. Experts agree: you’ll be happier if you face your regrets

Contemporary experts from a variety of disciplines have intuited the same insight. Best-selling author Dan Pink has written a whole book on the power of regrets to teach you about yourself, while New Yorker writer Kathryn Schulz gave a much-watched TED Talk on embracing your regrets.

“If you want to be fully functional, and fully human, and fully humane, I think you need to learn to live not without regret, but with it,” she argues.

In a business context, leadership expert Manfred Kets de Vries teaches that regret “forces us to engage in a retrospective analysis to understand why we thought or acted the way we did. Such a review may help us see specific patterns or behaviors that have made us who we are, but also kept us from leading a different life.”

Another best-selling author and popular commentator on technology and productivity, Cal Newport, apparently advocates facing your disappointments head-on too. He advised one mentee to regularly carve out time to reflect on uncomfortable questions like, “I tried X — why didn’t it work?” and “Why am I not as successful as I would like?”

All of which is a long-winded way of saying Dale Carnegie’s “Damn Fool Things I Have Done” folder isn’t a quaint eccentricity. You might want to update Carnegie’s terminology (or not — I personally like Carnegie’s blunt file label) or swap a Google Drive for paper folders. But the idea of systematically collecting your regrets has aged incredibly well.

A “no regrets” philosophy ends with repression, stagnation, and niggling doubts. Facing your biggest f**k ups is unpleasant upfront, but leads to greater personal growth in the end.

At this point in election season, you might be as interested in voting your outspoken uncle out of the family as you are in casting your ballot for the next president of the United States. Differing political views can rip family members apart, making everyone feel like they're walking on eggshells in the lead-up to Nov. 5.

“There’s a lot of stress that people carry knowing everybody is feeling tense about this,” says Jenna Glover, chief clinical officer with the mental health app Headspace. “Some people have actually lost relationships, and it's important to acknowledge how that impacts our mental health.”

With that in mind, we asked experts exactly what to say to the relative whose politics you despise in order to keep (or restore) family peace. “I won't be talking about politics today.”

You know what they say: Never talk about religion, politics, or money in mixed company. Setting a clear boundary is one of the most effective ways to preemptively squash disagreements, experts agree. Make your intentions clear ahead of time: Before hosting your kid’s birthday celebration or meeting up for a Halloween costume party, reach out to family members and establish some guidelines, says Bradford Stucki, a psychotherapist in Provo, Utah. “Suggest a politics-free zone for the gathering,” he advises. Emphasize that you want to keep the focus on the kids, or the festivities at hand, and ask for a commitment to avoid polarizing topics. If the conversation still ends up turning in that direction, shut it down: “OK, that’s enough of that,” or, “We’re not talking about that here today.”

Read More: How to Set Boundaries With Relatives, According to Family Therapists “Can you tell me a story that helps me understand how you came to believe that?”

If you’re sitting at the kitchen table with a family member, and they say something opposite of what you believe politically, take a breath and summon your curiosity. Then ask them to tell you about the personal experiences that shaped their perspective. “Our most polarizing conversations are often an exchange of talking points divorced from context,” says Jill DeTemple, a professor and chair of religious studies at Southern Methodist University in Dallas and an associate with Essential Partners, a non-profit that helps people build relationships across differences.

Asking for the story behind someone’s beliefs can help us remember that our family members are complex, and that their ideas might come from a place we recognize, even if we don’t also subscribe to them. “Maybe I disagree with my uncle, deeply, about guns, but his story about his sense of accomplishment and belonging after shooting his grandfather’s rifle for the first time will help me remember how kind he was to me as a child,” she says. DeTemple recommends asking yourself: “Am I having dinner with family because I want to convince everyone to think like me, or because I want to be reminded that I’m a part of something bigger?” “If I heard only what was on your news feed, I'm sure I'd think the same thing, but I’ve had different experiences in my life.”

This approach resonates with Nealin Parker, executive director of Common Ground USA, an organization dedicated to peace-building. She thinks of it as a gentle reminder that even the most compelling news stories “don’t apply equally to everyone’s lives.” Plus, it can be a helpful way to remind people that the most well-informed and sincerely held opinions are often grounded in lived experiences, Parker says. That can open the door to conversations centered around a desire for mutual understanding. “What kind of compromise or solution might work for both sides?”

Make a point to seek common ground in politically charged conversations, Glover advises. One way to do that is to raise the subject of potential compromises or solutions—which will help you and Cousin Bob come together, rather than focusing on how different your views are. Talk out how you’d both tackle a problem with the economy or health care that you feel strongly about. As Glover puts it: “How do we work to come up with a solution that’s inclusive and that’s helpful for most people?” These brainstorming sessions encourage people to feel like they’re on the same team, she says—and are more productive than picking a fight.

It might seem counterintuitive, but Parker likes this tactic because, if you can convince someone you really want to hear their perspective, they tend to shift from ranting into talking. “It can make people reconsider their most inflammatory comments, and sometimes even make them want to hear more from you about your beliefs,” she says. So the next time your brother starts bashing your favorite candidate, ask him to tell you more about where he’s coming from—and you might be surprised at how quickly the temperature in the room lowers. “Could I have permission to share my point of view?”

It’s OK to share your perspective with people on the opposite side of the political spectrum—but Glover likes to start the conversation by asking for permission. Doing so is a technique commonly used in counseling called elicit-provide-elicit: First, you find out what someone else's point of view is; then, you provide your own perspective; and finally, you ask the other person for their reaction. “The other person has actively said, ‘Yes, I do want to hear,’ and it puts them in a different place of openness,” she says. “And of course, if they were to say no, then that's good for you to know. Why waste your breath on somebody who's not going to listen?” In the 20 years she’s been employing this strategy, however, she's never had someone opt out of hearing what she had to say. “I'd like to have a chance to learn from each other, because I respect you but see the world differently.”

This phrasing is effective because it lets your family members know that while you may disagree with them, you intend to ground your discussion in respect and genuinely want to better understand where they’re coming from, Parker says. It’s essential, however, to mean what you say. If you don't want to learn something from your relatives or maintain a relationship with them, that’s fine—but in those cases, it’s usually best not to engage. If you decide to proceed, aim to talk one-on-one—privacy makes conversations more constructive—and remember that good things don’t happen overnight. “One conversation is unlikely to result in significant change,” Parker says, but it’s a start to build on over time. “Maybe we could revisit this conversation when we're both feeling more calm.”

If you recognize that you and your family member are both on edge—maybe your pulse is starting to spike, or your chest is getting tight—it’s time to step away. “As humans, when we feel pushed, we’re going to push back,” Glover says. That all but guarantees the conversation won’t go anywhere good. By suggesting you revisit things later, “You’re basically letting go of the balloon that's about to pop, and saying, ‘Let’s just take a break from this.’” That way, you can ensure neither one of you says something you’ll regret later, Glover adds.

Read More: How to Survive Election Season Without Losing Your Mind “I mean, I'll vote for any candidate who will boost the economy, cut my taxes, and...prosecute people who remove their shoes on the airplane.”

Sometimes, humor is the best tool to diffuse heated situations. That’s why a simple comedic device called the "comic triple" can work well, says Paul Osincup, a comedian and author of The Humor Habit. The idea is to list three things: The first two should be obvious or mundane, while the third is funny or surprising. By utilizing this technique, “You're gently redirecting the conversation to a lighter topic: pet peeves,” he says. Your family members will likely start laughing and chime in, “I know, that’s so gross!” Or, Osincup adds, they might tick off the pet peeves they’d abolish if they were president. “When everyone is in on the joke, they feel more connected,” he says. “Shared laughter is empathy in action.” “I’ll just be glad when all of the campaign commercials are over with—they’re ridiculous!”

Here’s another way to get a smile out of your family members. Describe what a political attack ad against you (or one of them) might sound like, Osincup suggests: “Kyle says he’ll make the best VP for accounting, but he still spends $8 a day at Starbucks. Would you trust your money to Cappuccino Kyle?” “You're poking fun at a pretty universally shared experience—disliking political commercials—and then redirecting the humor to yourself,” Osincup says. He recommends giving yourself a nickname (preferably with alliteration) and delivering your ad in a booming, dramatic voice. “Looks like the Cowboys might beat the Eagles this year.”

If things start going downhill at one of Glover’s family gatherings, she redirects to a topic that has the same energy, but feels a lot safer: sports. It’s much more fun, after all, to fight about football teams than political parties. And remember: If your family member won’t let the election go and is determined to pick a fight, you don't need to participate. “Some people are going to continue to create an environment that's not going to be healthy, and it's going to impair your judgment,” she says. “Take control over what you can, and recognize that sometimes, there's nothing you can do other than remove yourself from the situation.”

https://lemmy.world/post/21304303