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warandpeas War and Peas 🧿 @mastodon.social

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Full Story tonight on Channel 5: TRUE STORY!

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas 1. Panel: Little Red Riding Hood is sitting in front of a documentary camera. Someone off-camera asks, "So, you were the one who found the wolf at your grandmother's?" 2. Panel: The big bad wolf is also sitting in front of a camera sharing his side of the story. He says, "Listen, I have a thing for older broads, ok?" 3. Panel: Someone off-camera asks, "So, when you say you ATE grandma-" The big bad wolf interrupts them, "Listen, I know how to please a woman." 4. Panel: Back to Little Red Riding Hood. She crying and says, "Years of therapy... TURN OFF THE CAMERA!"

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-05-12) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

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MESS CASTLE

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas. 1. Panel: The vampire enters the room while the witch and the black cat (lord Nibbles) are sitting on the couch watching TV. The vampire says, "You guys, the castle is a mess!" 2. He continues, "There are rotting skulls everywhere from your stupid rituals!" 3. The witch replies, "And you said you'd clean up after your midnight snacks!" 4. A man is heavily bleeding and crawling out of the house. He says "No worries, I'll let myself out!"

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

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You were always a disappointment

(title added for lemmy by community mod)

Image description: 4 panel comic (Yonkoma) by War and Peas 1. Panel: A killer clown hides behind a bush. A person is coming closer. The killer clown goes, "Muahaha, my next victim!" 2. Panel: The clown jumps up from the bush is surprised that an old lady is standing in front of him: "MOM!" 3. Panel: He goes, "You turned into a killer clown? You look ridiculous!" 4. Panel: She points at another person looking up from a bush and goes, "Look at Cheryl's son! That's a good looking murderer!" The good-looking murderer from the other bush goes "'sup!"

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-28) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

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Gates of Heaven

Image description: Cartoon by War and Peas: A person stands on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. There's a smal gate with a sign that says "Less than 100k followers". NExt to it is a bigger, more beautiful gate that reads "More than 100k followers"

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

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π”Šπ”¦π”«π”€π”’π”― 𝔏𝔒π”ͺ𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔱π”₯𝔒 π”Ÿπ”’π”°π”±

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas: 1. Panel: A little girl summoned a demon. The demon goes, "Feed me fresh souls!" 2. Panel: The girl answers "I only have tea." 3. Panel: "It's ginger lemon." 4. Panel: The demon goes, "Tea is fine, too!"

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-10) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

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Tree Hugger

Image description: 4 panel comic by War and Peas. 1. Panel: A girl walks towards a tree 2. Panel: The girl hugs the tree. 3. The tree looks down at the girl and thinks "This isn't helping anything." 4. The tree closes its eyes and thinks "But it feels good."

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

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Giant Leap

Image description: 4 panel comic about the truth of the moonlanding. 1. A NASA press conference about the moon landing. The speaker says, "One small step for man, one giant leap for poledancing." 2. A confused journalist raises his arm and asks, "Don't you mean mankind?" 3. The speaker answers, "No." 4. An astronaut pole dances around the American flag.

--- (Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-03)

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This is for Grandma!

Image description: Red Riding Hood whipping the big bad wolf saying, "This is for Grandma!"

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

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πŸ—³οΈ We continue with the vote πŸ“Pro Belly Rubs v. πŸ“Anti Belly Rubs πŸ—³οΈ

Image description: 6 panel comic by War and Peas. 1. We are in the halls of United Nature. The speaker (a giraffe) states, "Looks like the humans will be extinct soon." 2. A dog asks, "But who'll give us dogs belly rubs?" 3. The giraffe says, "Looks like we have a contribution from the back." 4. A cat raises his paw. 5. The cat presses the button to use the microphone. 6. The cute cat says, "Go fuck yourself."

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

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Springtime

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

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Doctor Dog

Image transcripion: Panel 1: Doctor Dog storms into the operating theater. His assistant shouts, "Doctor Dog! We have to operate!" 2nd panel: Doctor Dog starts chasing his tail and growling. His assistant shouts, "Quick, Doctor Dog! We don't have much time!" 3rd panel: Doctor Dog can't stop. He says, "Just a moment! This guy have been following me all day!" Panel 4: Doctor Dog stands sad and angry at the window of his office. He is smoking a cigarette and on his desk is a piece of paper that says "Medical Mal-Practice Lawsuit."

--- (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

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Pool Party

Image transcription: 4 panel comic: 1. Pennywise the clown speaks to a kid from the sewers: "Join us, Jimmy. We all float down here." 2. Jimmy screams and runs away. 3. Pennywise turns around and speaks to a group of clowns in the sewers. They are having a merry pool party and drinking umbrella drinks. Pennywise says: "He ran away!" 4. One of the clowns says, "Maybe he doesn't like pool parties." Another one says,"Try balloons next time."

---

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

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Bless you!

Bless you!

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon)

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Bless you!
  • This comic is made possible with the help of our backers on Patreon. Thank you – You mean the world to us!
    Go to patreon.com/warandpeas for more

  • Ancient Aliens

    Image transcription: 4 panel comic by War and Peas: 1. two pharaohs from ancient egypt are standing in front of a pyramid whose construction is nearing completion. One says to the other, "You've outdone yourself this time, Babuthep." 2. he continues, "You'll be remembered for this throughout history!" 3. "It's a testament to human ingenuity." 4. time jump to the present day. At an alien conference, someone speaks to an audience, "It was aliens!"

    (Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

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