Not sure if it’s as applicable to your particular situation, but I’ve found “acceptance and commitment therapy” (ACT) to be a particularly effective therapeutic approach for myself.
Resources/Books about People Pleasing
So I have a big problem with trying to guess what other people are thinking, and letting that dominate what I think, instead of actually listening to my own instincts and opinions. It’s been a lifelong problem, but one I’ve really only started directly grappling with in the last year or so. I struggle a lot with figuring out what I want, and what I think for myself. So I often just wind up being heavily influenced by the people near me. I was wondering if anybody else here has gone through this and found something that helped them move past it. Ideally if you have a good book recommendation, that would be great!
There’s that whole thing in “Dune” of “he who has the power to destroy a thing, rules that thing.” So yeah, we are in charge, even if we are fairly hands-off managers!
It definitely did happen to me as well! But yeah, the evaluator keyed in on a few things that I wasn’t actually expecting them to. There are things you didn’t communicate, but intended to, and things you didn’t intend to communicate but probably did anyway.
In general, the “waiting period” was anxiety-producing for me. Just trying to not think about it was the best remedy!
That’s encouraging to hear! I would eventually like to try for a stable relationship again, and I hope I can find someone who is OK with less “together time” than is typical. Congrats that you have!
I’d agree with this! I’m actually going through a divorce right now. There are a lot of reasons for it, but several of them have to do with me masking too much in one way or another around my wife and eventually not being able to do that anymore. Needing a lot more time to myself than I was getting was one of those things. I’ve really enjoyed the fact that I’m getting that alone-time now. Ultimately, for a variety of reasons, I’m glad the marriage is ending, but I really do wish I had been honest with her about my needs much sooner.
Alone pros/cons
I strongly identify with this meme 😛. Thought others here might as well. There’s this “paradox” of much preferring solitude much of the time while knowing you need other people in your corner in life.
then you are shouting at ghosts
Or, in the more field-specific terminology: zombies 😉
Will you list the results after a while? I want to see them, but don’t want to have to create an account on that site.
Literally also going through a divorce with a kid and just got diagnosed. Pretty sure my wife is committed to 50:50 custody though. Still: solidarity.