My last big boss fight in PF2 lasted about 3 hours and there were 10 rounds in that time - so about 1 round every 18 minutes. The party consisted of six level 12 characters - counting the GM, that means the average turn was about 2.5 minutes long.

(That includes some RP as well, villainous monologues, rescuing the hostage, etc)

Granted, I use the Foundry VTT, which speeds things up quite a bit. (And is also how I was able to review this data). And most of us are experienced with the PF2 system at lower levels and had jumped up to level 12 for a oneshot.

Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance

This is one of my favorite systems and I've learned a lot playing it, so I apologize in advance for what will probably be a wall of text. You can TL;DR the bold bits.

Black dice are like salt, sprinkle some on everything - Black dice are a great way to add adversity from the world (poor visibility? suspicious guards? time crunch?) and a good way to use generated threat (distracted, damaged gear). Also, many PC talents allow them to peel black dice off of skills they specialize in - and players really enjoy telling the GM they don't have to roll the bad dice.

Blue dice are like pepper, add a little to most things - They're a great way to reward players who have a clever approach, tie in to character backstory (my former-pirate probably knows who to fence stuff to around here), good roleplaying, or good preparation.

Facing a player with something they're good at is cool, facing a player against something they're bad at is interesting - You want a healthy mix of both. A gunslinger PC wants to take out hordes of mooks and absolutely should get the chance to let loose now and then. But if the party disguises themselves as maintenance personal as part of a heist, that same low-int gunslinger should be flagged down by one of the staff and asked to fix a broken grav-lift. It puts the PC in a tense situation where they have to think (I can shoot my way out, but that blows our cover. I can try to fix it but raise suspicion if I fail. Can I create a distraction? Can I talk my way out?). Making scenarios like this happen isn't too hard because...

Splitting the party is a great idea - As others here have said, combat balance is basically non-existent in this game, so a split party isn't a death sentence in combat (and even losing combat isn't usually lethal). Also, escaping from combat is much easier in this system than others (Hop on a speeder, hack a door closed, or just use a destiny point and shoot the door controls). Comms exist to keep the party in contact and allow them to coordinate/affect each other. (One character can make a distraction to allow the hacker to slip into a building - the hacker can then help the thief get past security, etc.) A combination of multiple objectives and time-pressure is a great way to get the players to split up. (And the Obligation system is great at creating secondary objectives for this purpose)

There's plenty of time to get things done in combat - Unlike DND, combat doesn't put a dead stop to everything else that's going on. The rules say that one full round of combat in this system is "one to several minutes". If combat breaks out, party members can still use skills, hack things, get to places, have conversations (probably away from the firefight). Very often in EotE, my players found themselves in a "fighting retreat" after tripping an alarm and needing to finish the objective or escape, it keeps tension up and you can use minion groups as reinforcements for added time pressure.

Meanwhile the village idiot is being flogged for heresy for daring to suggest that the prayer this stranger priest was chanting moments before his sister tumbled into the fire may have been responsible.

Timothy Treadwell and his partner were killed and ate by a brown bear after living with them for years

Actually, the bears that killed them were bears that killed them were not the bears he had been living with. The year of his death, he was actually visiting the area far later in the season than he had in previous years. The bears that were familiar with him had already moved out of the area (or started hibernation), and a new group of bears had migrated in.

Unfunny Anime Circlejerk: "Nah, I'd win"

I'm very distracted by the fact that the answer given by number 2 is wrong.

Crazy how someone can go throw the process of writing and illustrating a math problem only to fail to count to 10.

And if you crop the first two panels and put the explanation at the bottom, suddenly it's an SMBC comic.

And that's only if they recognize what's going on. If you're just minding your business and suddenly it's dark and hard to breathe, there are a bunch of monsters, spells, and magical phenomena that are possible culprits.

There are games other than DND 5E

First time I've seen the word antediluvian used in a context that wasn't referring to the ancient super vampires from Vampire the Masquerade.

Sacrificing a goat would be so much easier than some of the things I've done with Javascript. (Things that shouldn't even be hard in the first place)

Whatever nerd.

You just hate me cause you ain’t me.

Is Konsi is actually flirting in the last 2 panels? Are we sure she didn't get swapped with a doppelgänger?

TL;DR for the Animist

Flavor-wise, the Animist is a cross between a Druid and a Summoner. They call upon the spirits of the land, whether those be humanoid ghosts, animal spirits, or anthropomorphized versions of the land itself.

Apparitions: The main gimmick of the Animist is that each day during their preparations, they call upon a number of apparitions to be bound to them for the day. (2 at level 1, 3 at level 4, and 4 at level 12). The Apparitions grant 2 Lore skills each, these lore skills are relatively limited - being almost entirely terrain based (Mountain Lore, Forest Lore, etc.), although there is a Battlefield spirit that can be called to grant Battlegrounds and Heraldry Lore.

Spellcasting: They're divine prepared spellcasters, but they only prepare about half of their spell slots per rank. The other half of their spell slots are determined by the apparitions they've summoned that day. For example, calling a Volcano spirit and a Forest spirit would give the Animist the option of using Fireball or Wall of Thorns for their 3rd level slots (determined at time of casting). Each spirit also grants access to a Focus spell.

At first level, they can get the feat Channler's Stance - while in the stance, they add the spell's rank to any energy damage done by the spell - which I imagine will make them fairly proficient blasters.

Feats: Animists have feats that give them bonuses when dealing with undead and spirits (both in combat and socially), they have a few metamagic options - though these differ slightly from the standard set that other spellcasters have, abilities that allow them to resist or outright ignore mind affecting conditions on themselves, abilities that boost their melee damage and durability, and a couple abilities that boost their spell damage output.

Shout out to the 4th level metamagic feat Grasping Spirits - where instead of extending the reach of a spell, you send out an apparition to grab your target and pull it into your spell's range. (If the pull fails, you waste your spellcasting actions but keep the spell slots/focus points)

At 12th level, they can take feats that allow them to force a d20 reroll once per 10 minutes under certain conditions. (Would be spotted during stealth, ally would miss an attack, animist would be hit by an attack)

All-in-all: Their grab-bag of abilities feels pretty underwhelming, which is pretty normal for a spellcaster. Consistent damage output from spells and a near immunity to mind control effects is their bread and butter. The melee damage bonuses feel like trap options, since they only have simple weapons and they don't get nearly enough melee effects to make Strikes seem worth it. Medium armor proficiency gives them some durability, but that's about the extent of their protection. They get powerful Avatar forms at level 19, but that happens so late in the game I doubt many will ever see it.

TL;DR for the Exemplar

The Exemplar is a strange beast. They're a martial that echoes power from stories and mythology, so their powers are reminiscent of Greek Heroes or Knights of the Round Table (even the flavor text says you may have drawn a weapon from a stone). Their gimmick is that they have a 'divine spark' that they can move between Ikons (representations of their divine power). Ikons can be part of their body (the face, the skin, a scar), a weapon, or a worn item - an Exemplar gets one of each type. In general: Body Ikons grant self-defensive abilities, Weapon Ikons grant offensive bonuses, and Worn Ikons grant auras that support allies.

While an Ikon holds the divine spark, it grants both passive benefit and access to a 'Transcendence' action. A Transcendence action is a powerful effect based on the Ikon, and after resolving the action the divine spark is forced to jump to a different Ikon. So the Exemplar is effectively playing a juggling act where they're constantly weighing the benefits of which passive Ikon effect they want vs the Transcendence action they're setting up for.

Some example Ikons: Gaze as Sharp as Steel (Body) - Passive: +1 Perception and +2 AC vs ranged attacks. Transcendence: Gain Reactive Strike feat for the round Scar of the Survivor (Body) - Passive: +1 on Fortitude saves. Transcendence: Heal 1d8 Hit Points (scaling with level) Yes, this allows effectively infinite out-of-combat self healing Barrows Edge (Sword-like Weapon) Passive: 1 Persistent damage on a Strike. Transcendence: Gain HP equal to half the damage it just dealt Fated Shot (Projectile Weapon) Passive: +1 damage per Strike. Transcendence: Can strike a 5-foot burst with a hail of projectiles. Victor's Wreath (Worn) Passive: You and all allies within 15 feet get +1 to attack rolls. Transcendence: Allies may immediately make saving throws (with a +2 bonus) to end ongoing conditions

As an Exemplar levels, they acquire additional abilities for their Ikons. (free actions with their Body Ikons at level 3, critical effects and alternate damage types for Weapon Ikons at level 7, and additional range and ally buffs for Worn Ikons at level 15). They also have the ability to 'reassign' Ikon status to new objects of a similar kind - so if they find a magical bow, they can make that their Ikon of Fated Shot for example.

Exemplar feats include some options for increasing offensive power (new weapon traits, bonus damage, alt damage types), physical utility, durability, and divine focus spells. There's a very fun one at level 4 called Only the Worthy, where you can command your worn or weapon Ikon to remain motionless - potentially pinning down a prone enemy or blocking a door - the feat also allows you to call the Ikon back to your hand.

Assuming you're being hyperbolic at the end there - the samey, no-actual-options feeling of DND is what drove me to Pathfinder 2e. And all the rules are officially free here.

But if you weren't being hyperbolic and want something in the same fantasy-action genre: Genesys is pretty awesome.

If you want something really real off-the-wall and different, try the one-shot friendly slapstick-comedy The Sorcerer Supreme (also free).

Not a problem, I’ll just grab some of the years from the end of my life and just kinda stuff them into the present to get me through.

Good as new without any downsid- why is my hair falling out?

Over the years, I’ve found it’s less helpful to think of the campaign as a planned road trip - and more helpful to think about it like you’re in a car chase and your brakes have been cut.

Don’t plan out meticulously, just prioritize steering into the next interesting thing that can happen, ideally one that the party is already kinda heading towards. You can have some ideas about things that could happen afterward, but you have no idea what your players will do yet.

They could befriend the lich’s minions, commit the crime before the villain has a chance to, or just straight up die to terrible luck.

This year, I started a campaign of Geist: The Sin-Eaters set in Washington DC.

GtS is a game about interacting with ghosts and laying them to rest. (For example, by bringing their killer to justice)

So my search history has been:

• Maps of Washington DC (for setting info)
• Nitty gritty examinations of government structure (for politicking & world building)
• Information about murders, cover-ups, decomposition, and body disposal

So I’m on a list now…