Lenin enjoyer🏳️⚧️ @lemmygrad.ml Trans woman, Marxist-Leninist, enjoyer of linguistics and Lenin (communist with adjectives 😳)
I go by May mostly, but also dont mind Amy.
she/her discord: comrademay#1406
Inactive for the time being, Lot going on in my life rn.
''Yo its weezer and its weezey'' -Rivers Cuomo
Yeah, since this post I have gotten back on track, probably my ADHD tbh, those types of things are inconsistent with it.
Tomorrow I start a new job, but I keep defaulting to making my sleep schedule shit. Even if I'm tired at like 11PM and ready to go to bed I decide to watch YouTube videos until 6AM, or binge eat and watch cable. I dont have huge eating problems at all, I never gain too much weight, but that's because I have this thing where I burn more calories than most people. Still takes a toll on me. End up wasting food that I should have eaten over more time. In the end, I feel like I no matter what happens I end covered in sweat waking up at 5PM.
Completely agreed. PFFLP exists, its not like we need a settler communist party to speak for them. I think a platform where settlers who want to support the indigenous people of palestine could be a thing, but that's not a party specifically for settlers with the name of their settler state in the title.
My mind is torturing me
I dont want to become like the #1 poster of long-winded rants about my life here, but I find it therapeutic. I am also wondering if this just my brain being checked out, a medical thing, or something everyone has.
I have this thing where my brain decides to think things that I would never do. Its also hard to talk about because then everyone would think I secretly want to do all the things described. Cookie cutter extreme example: it imagines me killing everyone around me or something. I would never want to kill anyone around me, at least usually lol. Most times it's my family which I care for deeply. Ill just be near something, or someone, and my brain imagines me doing the absolute worse thing someone could do in that situation. It fucks with me. Because I feel like there's a serial killer describing some really fucked shit in my head as I'm trying to exist. That odd force would never have any power, and it shares no desires with me, it just sits there and acts like I want to engage in horrible acts. Also, I dont see it as an actual entity in my brain, like another person, it's more like self-doubt but saying things that make me want to never talk to anyone again. Again, does this happen to any of you? Do any of you know what this is?
thanks.
(Also worth noting, much worse shit it imagines as compared to just killing people. Shit that makes not want to see anyone ever again.)
(Edit: I suppose this is relatively normal. I guess no one told me people have thoughts they may not agree with, maybe more of a comment on Amerikkkan education and parenting.)
In North Korea...
Burping is illegal. If you burp at your family dinner Kim Jong Un will burn you alive and burp in your face. I thought gommunizm was about freedom...
All I see is two tsarist flags, flags of oppression of the people, and one flag of the people to get the support of the people. Bullshit. I can't believe some self-proclaimed communists actually support Putin. I only hope Russia wins so Ukraine loses.
A reminder: Both Russia and Ukraine are illegitimate states. Anyone who wants the illegitimate government of both states to remain is anti-communist, this does not mean I am pro-NATO, I am starchily against all capitalist governments. I also understand the fall of Ukraine is of most importance, fascism is more important to do away with than capitalism. However, actual scientific socialism is more important than some bullshit about the Russian people caring about each other.
You know what quite true. I suppose what I mean is, that is not at all the reason why people dont have friends.
Well sure, but the culture isnt being an asshole. What I mean is thats it comes off as condescending of people in specific through wording. Hard to put into words but im sure someone knows what I mean.
highly false. Thats the same kind of bullshit some fascist anti-feminist podcast of bald incel men would say. (Maybe not the observation of amerikkka being individualistic, or individualism being bad, but still.) The shift is because of how capitalism isolates us. And how in Amerikkka how expectations of how social interactions are "supposed to be" shaped effect us. This comment itself is individualistic because you blame people instead of all the larger trends that cause this type of thing. I personally have close friends, but I didnt until 2021 to be honest. Not because I was being an asshole, but because I wasn't going to make friends by going to Mcdonalds and working.
(Also not trying to be an asshole here, but this gets me a bit worked up lol.)
Nintendo is fucking over the smash community again
So since I play at ssbm tournaments I feel this is important to tell some of you comrades. For anyone unaware Nintendo has canceled the Smash World Tour, which encompasses multiple smash bros tournaments, some huge, some smaller. This is in cooperation with Panda, the two are being assclowns basically. What this means is that most of the Majors and Supermajors (large tournaments) coming up will most likely be canceled. Nintendo has even threatened to arrest people because we have no "license." Nintendo hates melee and right now were in danger. Never thought i'd be harassed by police at smash events not just protests. Anywho...
i'm tired of therapy (TW: Self harm, suicide, Discussion of shootings, general suckage.)
**This post is fairly disturbing and also true, so if you are bothered by that maybe stray away. **
spoiler
im composing this while in therapy and bullshitting (sharing as little as possible that is) my current therapist. I'm tired of therapy that makes no sense, every time I don't vibe with my therapist I try a new one, and it's the same white cis woman who hasn't had a mental health issue in their life. I'd rather have someone who I feel like I can actually spill my mind on.
Not to mention, damn me for being suicidal. Tried telling that to one of them once and all I got was DSS case on my ass and someone asking if I wanted to shoot queer people. Dumb ass i'm a fucking trans person do I look like a fucking mass shooter. Mofos got my weapons too. Didn't even help at all, they kept all my Tylenol in tact at my apartment, I guess they think people just shoot themselves.
The mental health "support" I have are all Cis, straight, Liberal, petit bourgeois people who'd rather ask if they can do a tarot reading than actually help with my depression. Not to mention what being neurodivergent has to do with it. Found out I have Autism and ADHD recently and all that've got is people dismissing me. My current therapist doesn't know two shits about autism, I mean they don't know two shits about queer people either so whatever, still though, I went to get a support needs based therapist and I got fuckin dismissed. Apparently I'm "High-Fuctioning" enough to not need fucking help. Whatever. (btw the person who diagnosed my ADHD and Autism says I need support.)
Anyway, don't worry for me if you are, I won't be offing myself anytime soon. My birthday is coming up and I have a supportive helpful family. I also have a friend of mine, who funnily enough i've only known for a month and a half which is faaaaaaaaar better at helping than therapy. He's also struggles with the same exact things. I've been able to help and open up about mental, sexual, and general helth more than I could to a therapist in 1,000 years in less than two months
.
I pirate console games, so I cant speak, I use firefox and use google for search, so do as I say and not as I do. Google sucks and is spyware. Look up some other stuff, but I can say that DuckDuckGo is not private as advertised.
Some nice animations
I think many around the touhou community have probably seen these, but heres the latest if you haven't
Is (modern) persona queerphobic? (discussion)
I recently stumbled upon a video by one of those twitter anime youtubers, now most time I would just click not interested, but the thumbnail caught me. It was discussing if Persona (at least in modern form) is trans/homophobic. The guy dismissed it and just gave a few fuck yous and moved on without reading the thread. But as a fairly big Atlus fan I was curious. P4 is my favorite game of all time. So I found the video at the end of the thread. And some somewhat valid points, even if slightly exaggerated, were made. Tell me what you think.
(I was actually thinking of making an Atlus community as well so tell me if you would join that.)
(The guy also claims to be a "centrist" in the video but modern day he seems to be more ancommy. I liked his video on vtubers and he seems fairly left there.)
All Cafe de Touhou albums, very nice jazz/bossa nova arrangements :)
The community has been re-worked and im a new admin. So I thought I would post some music lol.
This is also a reminder that amerikkka can and will take more land if given the chance, land loss happened as recent as 1992, its not a super old thing we should "get over."
Weird thing to talk about here, but I cant get into my lemmygrad account on my new pc.
I believe it's site related being I forgot my password and entered my email to get a sign in email yet it hasn't come. If you could help it'd be nice because I dont want to keep using my old laptop. thanks.
The community isn't dead so check out this based episode of the based podcast "The Minyan"
Show The Minyan, Ep 21. Liberatory Languages - Jan 9, 2022
love the podcast great opportunity to share this