They should be willing to give you a few days of pills in the interim regardless while you get this sorted. Push them on that. The SSRI withdrawal is real and awful.

So far, the Pisces R: utility, maneuverability, acceleration.

That's horrible! Again, I'm so sorry. Please, be kind to yourself as much as you can be. Shame often stands in the way of healing!

I'm sorry (and I'm sure you're tired of hearing that).

Have you been tested/diagnosed for ADHD? There's a lot of overlap with ASD. Medication is highly effective among ADHDers. It's not a panacea but it makes doing the work far easier.