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aredditimmigrant @endlesstalk.org
Posts 7
Comments 48

How long does it take for neurotypical (or just typical) people to get over a minor fight?

Tldr: my wife and I get into verbal fights quite often (once a month or so) I get over it in an hour and it takes her days. Both of us think that the other's timeline isn't normal. What's typical/normal?

I'm ADHD (my current therapist thinks it's AuDHD) so I'm prone to emotional deregulation and pretty crazy mood swings. I'm pretty sure my parents are somehow ND as well so I don't have the best basis. My wife is also ND, but it's audio processing not emotionally related

My wife and I get into fights and arguments sometimes over petty stuff. I feel I hear her out but it's difficult for her to listen to me straight through as I tend to take a while to get to my point. She interrupts me a lot with either snide comments or questions that if she just waited a sec I'd answer. This leads me to getting frustrated and raising my voice and yelling, which gets her pissed off and raises her voice and suddenly we're in a shouting match.

Eventually one of us gives up or realizes they're wrong and we end the fight and go to our separate (safe) areas.

After about an hour I feel I'm back to normal and can talk about other things. (We usually have something we need to do with our kids or work or the house that we need to communicate on).

My wife feels it takes her a day or two to come down from a fight so shes very short with me until that time, where I feel I can talk after an hour or so.... She feels that it's not normal to change in that short of time.

What do people think?

35
What's an idea you have that should be an actual thing?
  • After an impromptu upscale bar/lounge crawl with the wifey the other day.....

    A shoe that can easily go back and forth from high heel/wedge to comfortable flats w/o much, if any, tooling or carrying around extra parts. She also brought a clutch purse

    Wifey was dead the next day from foot pain of walking between places.

  • Hamas launches rocket attack on Tel Aviv for first time in months
  • You missed it. I'm talking from the pov of Israel, not Palestine.

    Hamas has it in their charter to destroy Israel and every other Jew in the world...

    "From the river to the sea" doesn't mean "hey Israel, get off our backs" it means death to Israel. And when has appeasement ever worked?

    You also never answered my question.

  • Hamas launches rocket attack on Tel Aviv for first time in months
  • Question. If a group of people raped and kidnapped almost all the women in your family and the family of all your friends in front of you and killed or kidnapped almost all the men. Leaving you as one of the few people left. Would you kill an innocent child to get to the people who did and planned this if it was the only way, or just say, "oh well! Guess they can get away with it, I didn't want to be a monster...."?

  • Is texting not a conversation, or is it just me?
  • It's not just you. I hate texting in general unless it's for work. Usually if I'm running around on errands or a nice walk, I end up getting a text response to someone from an hour ago, and it boils my nerves that I feel I need to respond.

    I'd rather be on a phone call to get all information in/out at once. Especially with wireless headset/earbuds

    Though my therapist thinks I'm AuDHD. So that gives credence to your asd worry

  • USA ADHDers. Anybody have luck getting their stimulants abroad?

    Having issues gathering vyvance, which is slightly working for me. A friend suggested that she has friends who can help get some from Brazil, where the DEA isn't down everyone's throat. Just curious about people's experiences

    6
    Which album was a band's creative zenith/magnum opus before falling off?
  • More popular, more commercially successful, and more accessible to casual fans. Agreed.

    But for magnum opus, I gotta agree with the wall for a few reasons

    1. They made a movie out of it
    2. The ode to the intense para social relationships that revolve around stardom and how a truly crazy creative can take advantage of it in scary ways was not only true back then, but predictive of how much worse it would get in current time.
    3. DSotM always seemed like a lot of good ideas in an unordered list. I felt like they could be scrambled and the album would be similar, except for the first and last songs.. Meanwhile the wall tells a story of pain, alienation, search for meaning, lashing out, and then a quest for self-forgiveness.
  • if there's any of you that listening to music while smoking marijuana?
  • This is going to sound stereotypical, and I don't smoke often. But last time I had a good high going, the Grateful Dead album, "American Beauty", came on my music album shuffle and just instantly got me in the right mood.

  • New dad here!
  • Rereading this a few days later, a few items come to mind

    2a. Date night doesn't have to be fancy. A nice walk in a nearby park, or just a night where you can sleep/chill/watch TV together does the same as a nice dinner/drinks out on the town (and doesn't require you to dress up). The point is that you do something non-baby related TOGETHER.

    1. You're going to get tons of advice on how to raise the kid. The only piece of advice you need is this. When you get the advice, thank the person. Run it through your personal filter. If you like it, talk it through with your partner and decide if you both like it and help to implement it.

    2. You don't know them now, but you'll learn the "I'm hungry" vs "I'm tired" vs "I have a full diaper" cries soon. It's ok if it takes a while.

  • New dad here!
  • Father of a 2.5 yr old here ... Have a few friends who just had kids as well.. I told them the same shpiel

    1. The next few months will be the toughest thing you ever go through (comparable to back to back all nighters in college, but this time it's for a few months)... Esp if you're working and don't have good paternity leave. But after you get over that hump. .... It gets a lot better and now you're in the club where everyone knows what you went through because they've been through it too.
    2. If your/your partners parents are in the picture and offer to babysit. Take up the offer. Go have a date night with your partner... It'll relieve a lot of stress
    3. If you live in a decent area, go for walks with the little one as often as you can. (in a bassinet/stroller obviously)
    4. If you're in a western country... If you ever feel like you're doing too little, the littlest amount of effort on your part gets much more props than the amount of effort. Just being there for your new kid and changing every 10th diaper is doing better than 60% of dads out there.
    5. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has amnesia about the next 6ish months. They'll say things like "why are you so tired? I don't understand!" Or "it wasn't that bad when we had kids".... It was. They just blocked it out
    6. When the kid gets off milk, any spices yall use usually in cooking. Or just generally like that aren't spicy. Expose it to them ASAP. It does wonders for their pallet and they'll be less picky in a few years
    7. Both you and your partner are stressed. You will fight and hate each other. Don't make any big life decisions for the next few months.

    Hope this helps... Enjoy the journey.

  • How did money work on deep space 9?

    Whenever there's a storyline with quark, they talk about money/latinum.

    I remember in one of the next gen episodes that there was discussion about money and Picard said something about how they've moved away from money.

    So do Starfleet get paid now?

    Update: thank you for the quick responses. From what I'm gathering the tldr is that the following is the answer

    • Ferengi love for money/not being a post scarcity society by design
    • Bajorans being so near their slavery times and not post scarcity yet
    • Quark creating an atmosphere of camaraderie/gambling/upgraded replicators/actual food

    All this requires some form of currency.

    58

    Whats your best head shavers

    Hey all, just found this sub

    Any recommendations for an electric razor to use on your head in the shower? I've been shaving my head with a Gillette simple razor for a few years now. But every time I change the blade I end up with way too many nicks and cuts.

    Thoughts?

    5
    Personal Finance @lemmy.ml aredditimmigrant @endlesstalk.org

    Do you basically get double taxed if you make non deductable contributions to a traditional ira? Why do it?

    In the US, if you make a lot, are covered by a work retirement account or you contribute to a Roth, you can't deduct traditional ira contributions right?

    So that money gets added to the rest of your traditional ira monies right? and then when you hit retirement age, you have to pay income level taxes on deductions on that already post tax money right?

    Why get taxed twice? What's the benefit? +Not being able to touch it til retirement age.

    7

    Case reccomendation for the P7P?

    Hi,

    I'm looking for a case that not only has a screen protector that's not a glorified sticker. But also a way that has a magsafe back so I can use a magnetic wireless charger.

    I've seen quite a few that's the former (my current one), a few the latter, but none that are both :(

    Thanks!

    7