Hey, doing better already here. (At least no longer sick) Although I still have frequent days where it seems like I cannot get anything done.
I think a big part of the problem for me is that I don't really allow myself enough rest. Even when sick, I tend to try and rest by playing games, watching movies or reading stuff online. But if I can manage to just stop myself and do nothing (really nothing) for 30 minutes, that seems to help so much more.
I hope you find a way to get up and running again so you can prepare for your concert and trip. But it's also fine if you don't, I think. You will get through it either way, good luck!
Mindfulness as a way to restart your mind, instead of calming down
I feel like a lot of people are attracted to mindfulness or meditation because they want to deal with racing thought or feeling too agitated in some way.
Then they use meditation to calm down and clear their mind.
But for me it is the complete opposite. Normally I have no idea what I'm thinking and cannot pin-point any specific feeling.
Mindfulness meditation seems to allow me to hear my mind again, see what I'm feeling and thinking and being able to act on it again. Does anybody else have the same experience?
Maybe it's similar for me, I don't really feel like I could do the things I like for 8 hours, let alone work for that amount of time. But you would expect a more constant feeling of dread in those cases, not really random moments like this. But perhaps I'm wrong.
How do you deal with it? Have you found anything that helps?
For me, meditation seems to help it a bit with noticing my feelings/body, but I still can't distinguish between a lot of sensations. While other people I know can even tell what specific meal they want based on what 'kind' of hunger they feel.
I'm not sure if that's the issue for me. I usually feel better when lying down. But people with gastro reflux often have more issue lying down, no?
Does anybody experience certain moments or days with peaks of anxiety and dysfunction, but afterwards are fine?
I've been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and I'm pretty familiar with the difficulties and increased anxiety/depression in day-to-day life.
Overall, I'm doing pretty well now. If people talk to me, they would not know I experience any difficulties in life. (Although I'm currently not working). I'm not really that stressed in general, I'm doing much better socially, capable of getting things done everyday, and not feeling terribly tired every day anymore.
But sometimes, seemingly unannounced, I get these bouts of severe discomfort. It feels to me like anxiety, but it's not preceded by any worrying thoughts. (as far as I can tell).
When I feel this, I usually have to lie down or I might start coughing and vomiting. And I will not be able to get myself to do anything anymore. (not even just do something I usually enjoy.)
This can last for an hour, but sometimes it's almost a whole day. Afterwards, I seem to be perfectly fine again.
Is this something that anybody else experiences? Or is there something else going on? Everytime I go to the doctor to explain this, they don't seem to be worried and tell me that it's probably fine.
But fear for having this happen again (And it seems to happen quite frequently), is what is keeping me from making any commitments in terms of my life or work.
It's true, but that's exactly why you would need this no? Places where people can share skills and help each other, because you don't have money left to replace or buy new things.
Where did all the repair cafes go?
Are there still places near the center in Sydney where you can get help to get electronics or clothes repaired? (Or get help to learn how to do it yourself?)
I find a bunch of events and places, but they all seemed to have disappeared or only organise paid workshops nowadays.
I realise that a big part of the difficulties I experienced was because I never really took a moment to sit still and check whether what I was doing made sense. Like, is this actually what I want to do, is this even good for me? (mentally and physically)
I finally got the time to think a bit, and it made so much difference. At the beginning you still feel a lot of pressure from yourself, because obviously there is a financial part to it. But even beyond that, I noticed I always wanted to be doing something productive (Like doing exercise, making better food, learning some skill, etc.)
After a while (and doing a bit more meditation), the perspective started to shift and I started to realise that most things are much more bearable, if not even fun, when you start just taking your time, not rushing yourself, not trying to optimise everything. This applies to work, but also hobbies, like gaming and browsing the internet. Even gaming becomes stressful if you are always looking for the next goal, the next target and your start filling hours upon hours with that activity.
Talking with other people seems to put this into perspective. It's so easy to tell somebody else to not worry about something and take it easy. But then you realise that they could give that same advice to you and it would still apply. Sometimes just acting/talking towards yourself with the same concern and compassion that you show other people (even strangers) can be so helpful.
Thanks man. Ended up going and it was really nice to share experiences and frustrations. Glad I decided to go.
I actually went today. It was nice. It's surprising how respectful and accommodating everyone was. I've never really experienced something like that with people at work and such.
Yeah, I very much tend to overthink and think in terms of worst case situations. Strange thing is that, even when I know the worst case is not really an issue, I still feel like it's so hard. Especially in social situations I can never really get rid of that little panic/tension that seems to stay present.
Thanks, I definitely know the feeling of delaying reaching out. I've basically dealt with all my issues on my own in the first 20 years of my life, even didn't really talk to family about it. (didn't really talk in general) And I'm more and more aware of how difficult i've made things for myself by doing that. Not that it's easy, but everytime I talk about it, it's useful in some way.
Joining a support group, not sure what to expect
A contact of mine suggested me to join a support group to find people with similar difficulties and talk to them.
I found a group nearby, but I'm a bit reluctant to go. I can feel myself making up excuses as to why it would not be a good idea.
- I don't feel like it would be helpful.
- I will feel like they have even more severe issues than me and I can't relate.
- It's a group with 10 people, so I feel like it's a bit too much for me. I feel like I will just let everybody else talk and be silent like usual.
- I was a bit sick in the past weekend and I'm worried about making other people sick (even though it's kinda over)
Anybody already went to a support group before, what was your experience?
Is it possible to sharpen with a higher grit. Like 4k/6k if my knife is quite dull and has some chips? A colleague lend me his stone, but it seems very fine, so either my technique is bad, or it's too fine to sharpen my knife.
That sounds pretty good actually.
I also find that online, there are so many 'recipes' which ask for specific ingredients and spices. But when I don't have one of those ingredients, I'm not good at substituting (definitely not when sick and not thinking straight)
Instead, I would like to have some guidelines for cooking. Where they just show you some general steps, like 1. grab 3 vegetables from your and cook them in a pot in this way. Then fry a protein in this way. And boom, there is a meal.
I'm getting better at this already, but improvising can be difficult sometimes when you have to think too much.
Oh yeah. The moment I discovered Obsidian, I spent like three days non-stop just making notes and creating a structure to fit my thoughts. Nowadays I take it a bit more relaxed. But it's still great to keep track of projects and administrative things.
I even just link pdfs with invoices, bills, etc... in my notes, so I never have to search in folders on my computer. Just search for the 'electricity' note, and there are my energy bills. Very handy.
The only disadvantage I've found with digital notetaking is that it's not really visible unless you check it (or remind yourself somehow to check it) For example I have a note with a FAQ for myself to check when I feel bad and the common ways I found that help me. But I never remember to check this note when I'm really sick.
Also just having to open my laptop or phone to write/read notes is a moment of potential distraction. Computers and phones can be used for so much more, and when I'm not feeling good it's easy to get dragged into distractions like reading articles online or playing games, watching videos.
So I would say during the somewhat bad days, these tools help me a lot. But during the real bad days, they are actually more difficult for me to use as intended.
Instead, I now just keep a pocketable notebook with my tasks for the day, and calendar with my appointments. It's faster for writing something down quickly and more flexible. And it also keeps my todo list manageable, because there is a limit as to how much space I have for each day.
For projects, references and administration, I still put everything inside obsidian though. Usually prompted by a note in my pocket notebook.
During the past year, my favorite food has become greek yoghurt with cruesli (and sometimes jam or honey). It's so easy to prepare and (I feel) still relatively healthy.
Thanks. I feel like the most difficult thing to deal with is that while sick, I just can't shake this continues bombardment of pains and discomfort. It makes it so I can barely think, frequently can't talk (because I can't focus on the words people say, or can't arrange my thoughts to talk)
It almost seems like a lot of activities that I used to dislike (going outside, visiting friends, doing sports) are solely because I have once done them while being sick. And the discomfort I felt was so bad that I permanently associate those feelings with those activities.
I now realise that this is not the case, and I should not push myself too much. But my body still seems to react heavily, even though I rationally know I should just take time to rest and it will pass.
Good ways to cope with Working Memory impairment
Hi all
It's quite common for people with adhd (and autism) to have problems with executive functioning and working memory. Which can influence a bunch of things like being able to follow steps, remembering where you left things, being able to follow a conversation, concentrating on some task, etc...
I've been diagnosed for both (autism more recently) and got to know that based on the tests of my assessment that my working memory is quite heavily impaired, but the rest of my mind works quite normal.
In day to day life, this can be rather bothersome, but I usually find some way to deal with it. But when sick, or when I had a bad sleep, suddenly I become almost incapable of basic tasks. Unable to prepare food, make appointments, or work in any way.
It's quite normal that this impacts your working memory in a negative way. (Even for neurotypicals, it's the same). But there seems to be this threshold where things become almost impossible. Where you start forgetting things you have to do only moments later.
I'm looking for ways to cope with these moments. Obviously when sick, you need rest, and eat enough. So I'm not looking to force myself to be able to work while sick. But sometimes it's so bad that I even forget to rest, forget how to cook, forget how to order food online, forget how to take care of myself. Which usually results in me being sick and worse off for a much longer time.
Things I've found that help me:
- Meditation (Incredibly difficult when sick, but every bit seems to help)
- Medication (ADHD meds seem to help a bit, if I'm using them at the moment, I seem to feel much better, even when it's mostly physical discomfort. )
- Committing skills/knowledge to long-term memory (This is difficult because usually it requires extra time and calm moments where you can focus on it. It helped me a lot for cooking. Practicing the basics makes it much easier to get cooking even if I feel terrible)
Any other suggestions as to what might be good ways to improve working memory and make sure that I stay functional to make sure I can take care of myself?
Thanks, sounds interesting, I'll check it out!
Usually i'm kinda fine with being dirty for a while. Although being overly sweaty can be a bit uncomfortable. I think my partner is bothered more by this. Especially if the apartment gets dirtier than usual. (I normally do the cleaning and cooking)
It's a bit strange actually. I know that it's ok to order food or eat out somewhere nearby when I'm sick. But at the same time, I don't really have the capacity to make a choice, and even feel like I shouldn't do it (because it's less healthy, more expensive) Maybe it's because anxiety gets stronger when feeling sick? Not sure.
I would love to watch some show or read a bit when sick. But often my eyes become dry and hot when sick. Combined with a headache and suddenly I don't enjoy it much anymore. Maybe I should consider listening to some podcast or something. But I don't do that usually, so no idea where to start and searching for something requires looking it up on my laptop, which brings me back to my dry eyes and headaches.
Maybe I can prepare something next time. Any suggestions for things that don't require my eyes?
Chicken noodle soup or chicken and rice soup
Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try that. Usually I feel full very fast from soup. But I suppose I could put it near my bed and just eat it over a few hours.
Thanks for the tips.
I'm happy that my partner is still relatively fine and it helps a lot when they help me to keep resting and recover.
I sometimes find it difficult to listen to my body though. It seems like I often have a stomachache which makes me feel like I'm hungry, but at the same time too uncomfortable to actually eat.
I suppose this depends from person to person, but any recommendations for food that is easy on the stomach but would still give me enough energy for my immune system to do its work?
I have something similar at the moment. I first was thinking I was overworking myself, then I thought it was food poisoning or something, but it seems to be some kind of infection.
I'm slightly better now, but the past 3 days, I was basically bedridden. I couldn't even make an appointment with the doctor or prepare food. I just can't think anymore when I'm this sick. The physical discomfort is almost negligible compared to the inability to think and do anything anymore.
Both me and my partner are sick. They are mildly inconvenienced and keep working. I'm basically bedridden. How to get through this without feeling demotivated?
I thought I ate something wrong, but I've been sick for more than 3 days now. Sneezing, nose completely blocked, coughing, vomiting, terrible sleep, muscle pain, stomachache and sharp headaches.
It seems like my partner also got infected, because they started sneezing a day later.
But I don't even really mind all this physical pain and discomfort. The thing that bothers me the most is that I'm completely useless. Unable to think properly apart from a few moments during the day. Sometimes even unable to talk or properly understand my partner.
I can't even read or play a game or something because it quickly gives me a painful headache, and I don't enjoy anything at the moment anyway.
Anyone have some strategies to cope with this? Seems to happen frequently when I get sick and I don't really know how to deal with it. And it seems like it also drags on quite long because I forget to eat enough, I don't seem to have enough energy to take care of myself (brushing, showering)
Amazing experience with barefoot shoes for intense walking
Hi all
I'm using barefoot shoes for a few years now, and was amazed by how comfortable they are for me.
I remember each time when buying new shoes that I would have blisters and pain for at least two weeks.
When I bought barefoot shoes, I expected to need a few months to get adjusted to them. But they felt comfortable from the very beginning! (maybe because I used to walk on my toes during my childhood, even got support soles for that, but didn't really help)
--- More recently, I participated in a 100km within 24h walk. I expected to fail because it was the first time I was participating in a challenge like this, but I made it!
Obviously I was tired and the last part was quite difficult still. But I was amazed that I managed to walk for more the first 50km without any discomfort or blisters.
Anybody know how I can adjust my scroll speed in the config?
I'm using Nixos 24.05 on my asus zenbook 14 and the scroll speed of the touchpad is rather high.
Is there any way to adjust it from the config? I don't see an option in gnome/wayland
Does anybody know how to change scroll speed?
I recently bought an asus zenbook 14 (AMD version) and the scroll speed of the touch pad is quite fast.
Does anybody know how to change this?
I'm using Nixos 24.05, Gnome/Wayland
How to deal with post-work exhaustion?
I feel so tired after half a day of work, never mind working a full day. After a couple of weeks of this, when i get home, i have no energy left for anything. Even things I usually enjoy.
Everything feels like a drag at that point and I can’t seem to do anything to improve this.
Doing this for a few more months usually ends up with me having to quit my job or i will get so tired and sick I can’t do anything anymore.
How to deal with this?
What are some activities which are free or inexpensive that I can do to entertain myself / keep good mental health while searching for a better paid job?
I recently moved to a new city and don’t know anybody here yet.
I want to try out some things and meet new people and avoid sitting at home all day (but sometimes is ok)
My ideas are hiking, volunteering and reading. What would you recommend? Any good ideas?
I asked duckduckgo chat whether duckduckgo respects the privacy of their users...
This is the reply:
As a model running through DuckDuckGo's privacy layer, I can provide you with accurate information about their privacy features.
DuckDuckGo is a search engine that prioritizes user privacy. They have a strong commitment to protecting user data and have implemented various measures to ensure anonymity. Here are some key aspects of their privacy features:
- No tracking: DuckDuckGo does not track users' searches, browsing history, or any other personal information.
- No personal data collection: They do not collect or store any personal data, including IP addresses, user agents, or other identifiable information.
- Encrypted searches: Searches are encrypted, which means that even your ISP or network administrators cannot see what you're searching for.
- No targeted ads: DuckDuckGo does not display targeted ads, which reduces the risk of data collection and profiling.
Regarding cases where DuckDuckGo's privacy was questioned, there have been a few instances:
- 2011: DuckDuckGo was criticized for using Amazon Associates, which could potentially track user behavior. However, they quickly addressed the issue and removed the affiliate program.
- 2019: A security researcher discovered a bug in DuckDuckGo's browser extension that could potentially leak user data. The issue was promptly fixed, and an audit was conducted to ensure the security of their systems.
- 2020: DuckDuckGo faced criticism for using Microsoft's Bing API, which some argued could compromise user privacy. However, DuckDuckGo clarified that they do not share user data with Microsoft and that their partnership is limited to search results.
It's essential to note that DuckDuckGo has consistently demonstrated a commitment to user privacy and has taken steps to address any concerns or issues that have arisen. They are transparent about their practices and have implemented robust measures to protect user data.
If you have any more questions or concerns about DuckDuckGo's privacy features, feel free to ask!
---
Is anybody using duckduckgo over searx or other search engines? What is your experience?
Anyone know a good way to share files between self-hosted server and a local user?
I download and store music in my home folder for my desktop user, but also would like to share it with my jellyfin server, but obviously I cannot select a folder from my home folder as a library folder.
Is there any simple and clean way to make this folder available on a server?
Is somebody ever completely demotivated with everything? How do you deal with it?
Occasionally I have these days where I don't feel like doing work or chores. So I'm thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
But then I don't find any motivation to do anything really. Not even the things I normally enjoy very much.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
How to focus my time on creating free/libre software but still survive?
Hi all
I've been working as a software developer for the past few years and frequently decided to leave a company/project myself because I could not find the motivation to keep working for it.
First, I was questioning whether software development was really for me. But in my spare time, I still enjoyed writing small useful tools, configuring my linux desktop and self-hosting.
I recently realised that my demotivation is mostly due to the kind of software I was working on for the companies I worked for. Usually building APIs to facilitate sales/marketing for products I don't really care for. Or configuring some unnecessarily complicated ERP/CRM microsoft stack.
Instead, I would like to work on software that I use myself. Or at least on something that will useful for other people in the future, not just boost the sales of some company.
But I'm not sure where to look. It seems like jobs focusing on free/libre software are difficult to find (Or I don't know how to look) and the few I find seem to be looking for senior profiles much more experienced than me.
Anybody have some tips or places I can start looking? Honesly I would prefer to just contribute to some project for free, but I don't really have the option to do so at the moment.
Thanks!
What are some good targets for a beginner player?
Hey all
I've been playing a bit of Noita in my spare time, and i'm enjoying it a lot thus far.
I got to the icy floor and manage to survive pretty well. But at some point I feel like I'm not able to kill enemies fast enough anymore. And the wands I find or bought at this stage don't seem to be good enough to put on some decent spells.
Should I be trying out some alternative strategies, or go to a different location? I know there is a lot to explore, but not sure where to start. I also don't seem to find a lot of options for digging, even though this seems necessary if I want to go back up.
Thanks for your help!