I won't drink today
Thank you for this, some of these things are good ideas, some, for me, not so much ('do crazy things') haha
Thank you for your perspective, it is very helpful. I know just sitting there isn't enough, which is why I asked for advice here. I am just not a big talker and I don't want to him think I'm not interested in him because I am and I want to be present in his life. I will try to plan to do something together with him instead of just sitting around.
These are all good ideas, thank you for posting them. I will try some of these out.
Thank you for your good advice. He's a smart guy and I definitely don't plan on going anywhere, I intend to remain in his life as long as he'll allow it.
How to be a good dad to my older child when I wasn't around for his childhood
Maybe this is the wrong place to ask questions about how to be a good parent for adult kids, as I see a lot of questions here are regarding young kids, but I figured I'd ask here.
Long story short, I just got out of prison last year. I was in my son's life for his first 5 years, then I fucked up and got sent away. His mom went no contact with me then. A few years before I got out, I got a letter from my now-adult kid wanting to reconnect.
I am out now, but I just have no idea what I'm doing where he is concerned. He wants a father in his life, but I don't know how to be that person for him. It has been difficult to transition back to the 'real world' and I don't want to fuck up what little relationship we have.
He says he just wants to hang out, but like I don't even know what to say to him or talk about with him. Most of the time he does all the talking and I just listen but I'm worried that's not enough and that I should contribute to the conversation more, but I don't know what to say.
I never had a father figure in my life growing up, so I don't really have anyone in real life to ask (plus it's embarassing and I prefer the anonymity of the internet).
I have no intention of trying to 'parent' him, and I know I'm not role-model material, but he wants to hang out and I feel like every time it's very awkward and weird (we hung out 3-4 times since I got out). Should I just treat him like I would anyone I hang out with (friends, brother/sister), or do you think he is expecting something else, and what even would that be?
I will not drink today, but I'm not gonna pretend I'm happy about it. I decided to try the "Sober October" challenge and I've only managed 1 day so far (I did not drink yesterday). I've realized I'm just getting too old to drink the way I have been for a long time, and I honestly feel sad that I'm going to have to leave that lifestyle behind, because I've always enjoyed drinking and had a lot of fun doing it (judge me if you want to, I don't care), but I just can't hang the way I used to, and it's bumming me out.