Skip Navigation
InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)CO
Copythis @lemmy.world
Posts 0
Comments 175
What an asshole
  • He tows a very large boat to the ocean, and he uses it for hunting, fishing, camping, and getting firewood in the mountains. It's very bland looking.

    He has a smaller car for other stuff, I was just using it so I could move.

  • People of lemmy, what was your “oh crap” moment?
  • I heard that "who let the dogs out" by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

    I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said "oh my gosh I'm so sorry" because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

    She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

  • What android keyboard app do you use and why?
  • I've been using SwiftKey since like, 2012?

    I just like the custom keyboards, and it learns my mistakes when I swipe. I always carry 2 phones, so I was able to sync the 2nd phone so my swipes are already learned on that phone.

    Also, there's a snow keyboard that collect snow at the bottom of the screen as you swipe.

  • Trump holds seemingly pointless press conference filled with false claims
  • No, they aren't.

    All of my coworkers are super trump supporters, they even bought the flag from the assassination attempt. Yesterday, one of them told me to go "fuck my couch" and I said "there's enough couch fuckers around" which confused him.

    I awkwardly explained the JD Vance couch thing (I know it was just a troll, it didn't actually happen) and he BLEW UP. He was explaining that he looks up to and respects JD and I shouldn't believe what I'm seeing on the internet.

  • "Wife bad", found here on Lemmy
  • My wife was like this all the time. It was so exhausting and I couldn't keep track of what she was mad about anymore. Then she started accusing me of cheating on a regular basis.

    Then I found the texts in her phone to multiple other guys. Pictures and everything. I bent over so far backwards for her to keep her happy and that's what happened.

    Dumped her ass, got a new girlfriend that is radically different (she communicates) and I'm getting my life back on track. Restraining order in place. The future will be good.

  • 6-month-old boy dies in hot car after parent forgot to drop him off at day care: Sheriff
  • When my oldest was about 1, I buckled him in, but didn't realize the carseat wasn't buckled in.

    About a mile down the road, I turned and we went tumbling across the car in his car seat. It was completely upside down by the end.

    The only thing that kept me calm was that he was cackling with laughter. He thought it was the funniest thing. Never made thay mistake again!

  • Thomas Matthew Crooks: The registered Republican and gun lover who shot Trump
  • I was told "he's from Pennsylvania, he's registered as a republican, but he's a democrat. You see, the democrats have been voting as republican so they can vote on the republican ticket for Trumps enemies"

    I just can't. I'm not looking forward to work this week.

  • What's something that seems obvious within your profession, but the general public seems to misunderstand?
  • I have had a "biohazard" call at a local college.

    The platen glass is a lot thinner than it looks!

    Also, depending on the model of the copier, it will not let you copy money, and if you attempt it too many times, it will literally brick the machine.

    Something cool to do is to take your phone and turn on the selfie camera. Lay that on the platen and make a copy to see a trippy pattern.

    If you want to screw with someone, lay a single paperclip on the platen and make a bunch of copies of it. Take your copies and shuffle them into the paper tray face up (assuming you're using an office laser copier) so every once in a while, someone will get a paper clip on their print.

  • What's something that seems obvious within your profession, but the general public seems to misunderstand?
  • Sometimes your printer won't print in black and white if a color is out because it uses all of the colors to create a deeper black. Depends on the model though.

    And some of them use yellow as a lubricant because yellow toner has a consistency close to water.

    Also, please do not copy money or your butt. Trust me.