I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.
Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.
The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.
So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?
It's the way our tax system works. Employers have to pay taxes on payroll; they don't pay taxes on tips. By having customers pay servers directly, they reduce their tax burden.
Believe me, we don't like it either, but we are familiar with it, so there is little incentive to change.
Tipped employees are primarily paid directly by the people they serve. If you are not tipping a tipped server, you are declaring their work is worth less than minimum wage.
It is lawful to do that, but it is a real dick move.
It cannot be less than minimum wage, or the employer has to pay the difference. In some states there is no tip credit at all and the hourly wage must be at least minimum. Tipping still allows employers to keep wages low, but not that low.