The best kinds are insults disguised as compliments.
"I hope your day is as pleasant as you are."
"I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your presentation."
"You never cease to amaze me."
It's always the passive aggresive ones haha
"I am sure that with enough determination, you can make it to the top of the bell curve."
If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice.
Oh yeah? Well, I called the jerk store, and they're running out of you!
"You couldn't pour piss from a boot if the instructions were on the heel."
"Are you this stupid full time, or is it just a hobby?"
"You're about as sharp as a bowling ball."
The show VEEP has some of the best insults I've ever heard One of my favorites
"You're as toxic as a urinal cake in Chernobyl"
"If we were sat on a bench together and someone came up and said 'One of you two is an idiot', I wouldn't think they were talking about me because I don't take offense easily".
I actually stopped using Reddit back in December partly because someone DM'd me calling me a "fucking filthy tortoise" which is certainly the first time I've heard that. And also the moment that made me think, why am I wasting my time on this site. Not particularly smart, but certainly unique.
I think the Frankie Boyle insult to an audience member is the best. It was a long story and I'll try and search for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX1jMmfG2Xk&t=60
I always liked "Everyone who ever loved you were wrong"
