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  • Here's the story about those damn cut-the-string machines I repeat every time I see one of these.

    There used to be one on my local dying mall. Noticing this, and being the clever dick that I am, I came by one day with a powerful laser and cheesed it by slicing the string in half right through the glass.

    I subsequently found out that the iPad box that was dangling from the string was, in fact, empty. No "call this number and use this coupon to redeem your prize." Just, empty. Too bad about your fifty cents, kid. Get fucked.

    Do you know, I don't feel bad in the slightest about cheating that damn machine.