Trees have it rough. Can barely move, have to compete for sunlight and soil nutrients, can't scratch an itch, anything that can eat them will eat them without a care, can feel pain but lack a mouth to scream with.
Wanting to be alive as a tree shows how little one knows of them and is a typical case of greener grass on the other side.
Being willing to see only the good in others and envying them, yet unwilling to see the good in and resenting oneself. That's why one needs a therapist.
This is good. It's progress. Keep sharing these emotions and see them as they are. Eventually, acceptance will follow.
Exactly, we can't tell (yet). So the feeling of wanting to be like a tree is a superficial one for now. Because we don't really understand what it means to be a tree, we just like what we see to be a tree.
We look at their difficulties and think "I can handle that", but it's no different than an amateur watching a master at work and think "I can do that" even though it's the environment and experience that allowed them to grow into what we see.
Yeah but have you seen those trees where the canopies are all like perfectly interlocked, not overlapping at all, and they're just chilling together, being bros and sharing sunlight? That sounds pretty fucking sweet.
You did not see all the trees that died between them that didn't get the sunlight, because well, they're already dead and don't exist anymore for them to be noticed by you. The canopies are perfectly interlocked exactly because of the competition, not a sign of no competition.
We are definitely one of the least competitive species by way of being able to see competitiveness as something undesirable and choosing something else. No other species has the power to choose like that, all other species simply compete as much as possible in their own little biome.
By the way, "altruism" is also competition - don't altruists get recognized for their nobility and then get personal benefits (like sexual partners) from that recognition?
That's because you only hear about the fake altruist the one doing it for benefits, real altruists do stuff without telling anyone, only to satisfy their own moral compass.
Like the loch Ness monster, no one knows if they exist.
It's pretty hard though to be altruistic without anyone knowing. I guess you can do it through anonymous donation, but what if you don't have money? The only real way to be altruistic is to do things for others which is pretty much impossible to hide completely. If you for example volunteer at a soup kitchen everyone at the soup kitchen can see you volunteering.