May he ride off into the Cancun sunset never to be seen again.

Nope. He's predicted to keep his seat, dang it.

Pure poetry

Worst condom I found was hanging from the handle of an electrical box at my elementary school. We were kind of sort of confused about what it may or may not be, so we did the right thing and prodded it with a stick, causing it to break and spew a soupy yellow mess onto the side of the electrical box.