Do you often despise people who like you and help you a lot?

Only when they help poorly. Which is often.
Then I'm frustrated since it's impolite for me to complain about them helping out.

Sometimes, it helps to say:

"Thanks for trying to help, but the same inputs lead to different areas to light up in our brains. It's not an issue with missing empathy. You just work on a different operating system than me, and telling me how I shall execute that ".exe" properly while all my brain-programms work with ".asd" just isn't helping."

(and yes, that is in some details not correct, but never did an ND nitpick about that. I say it in another language, tho xD)

In the moment I have but afterwards when thinking about it, it's normally more complicated.

Part of it is resentment (/embarrassment/shame) at needing help at all and I think this is something everyone feels at some point, even NTs. The feeling of being made to feel helpless is something no one likes.

Another part is frustration when someone thinks they are helping but are more getting in the way/creating more work. I think thats down to poor communication and its not surprising ASD people have problems around that.

In instances where infantilization is involved, yes. But nowadays I won't go back to relying on someone who does that to me

No, but it's so infrequent that it weirds me out in the rare occurrence.

Oh, oh yeah. And it's not their fault either. Sometimes I just wanna scream "everyone get out of my house!!" Except it's their house too.

understandable but hey you get bonus points because people you live with actually help each other?

I wouldn't say I despise them, but the other negative emotion I have is feeling depressed at having been a burden that they decided they wanted, of their own free will, to help me. I hate it, it's so backward. It becomes a spiral of feeling melancholic for no reason and it just becomes a depression feedback loop.

I apologize for what I posted.

!

wat