You don't have the options you want to have. I'm sorry, but you don't. We have to deal with the world as it is to have any chance to make it as we want it.
So you're saying in order to participate in the US electoral system you must make yourself responsible for some level of genocide? Contrary to lesser evil voters, you're not responsible for other peoples votes, but you are responsible for yours. The fact that about 4 gerrymandered states determine the election is not my fault and doesn't necessitate my participation in condoning any more genocide than I legally have to when I pay taxes.
In the broken systems we both have, all you can do is tactically vote based on the outcomes you want the least. While arguing for better voting systems.
And how does that translate into a two party voting system? One is multiple times worse than other. What can you do so neither ends up president? Nothing. You only choice is to choose the least bad.
Those two presidential cadets are your only choices for president. Please do not kill yourself over it. I can't see how it would even be noticed by the process, let alone change it. Be just another tragedy for another family.