I'm super frustrated with how our governments treat us.

Since my family doctor appointment two days ago, I've been really angry.

I live in Canada and to have HRT in my province you need dysphoria. I'm in my thirties and they require me to see a psychologist to diagnose me with dysphoria. I do have dysphoria but it is not as strong as most other MTFs. And I'm not that feminine, I'm more tomboyish. For example I love wearing a beanie in winter and a baseball cap during summer. I don't want to have to suffer through all the trouble of seeing a psychologist for HRT. I feel like I should be able to make my own decisions about my body. I just want to access the treatment I need without jumping through hoops. It's already hard enough to come to terms with my gender identity. I don't want to have to go through an additional process of talking to a psychologist and being judged by them.

I'm afraid they won't let me have HRT because I'm a tomboy. It's not fair to have to justify my identity and gender expression to someone who doesn't understand what I'm struggling with. As a tomboy, I'm worried that I won't be accepted as a transgender woman, and that my gender expression won't be taken seriously.

I'm scared that I won't be given the medical care I need, and have to prove my identity to receive it. I want to be able to access HRT without having to prove who I am. I want to be respected and accepted for who I am, without having to explain myself... And I'm sure they'll use my schizophrenia against me.

As someone diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm worried that it will be used against me in terms of accessing medical care and being accepted as a transgender woman. People may not take my gender expression seriously, or may use my mental health diagnosis to invalidate my identity.

I hate this planet...I hate my life