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Neuroscience in the 8th dimension - a surgeon's perspective on Quantum Gravity, String Harmonics, and proper triage techniques.

First off, please let me express my appreciation for the talented FractalSauce, whose work "String Theory" I've chosen to represent the underlying complexity between extradimensional harmonics and quantum consciousness that I detail in this lecture.

Arigato, all for coming. I've been asked here today to give a talk on my studies of neuroscience, with a focus on the quantum entanglement of neurons, string particle harmonics, and how the two interact within certain extradimensional spaces when performing surgery. I'm going to focus on the 8th dimension, as that's my primary area of expertise, when dealing with specifics. Please note before I begin, that other spaces may have differing quantum frequencies than what I describe here.

Now, as per the revolutionary study done by Christian Matthias Kerskens and David López Pérez, Experimental indications of non-classical brain functions:

Recent proposals in quantum gravity have suggested that unknown systems can mediate entanglement between two known quantum systems, if the mediator itself is non-classical. This approach may be applicable to the brain, where speculations about quantum operations in consciousness and cognition have a long history. Proton spins of bulk water, which most likely interfere with any brain function, can act as the known quantum systems. If an unknown mediator exists, then NMR methods based on multiple quantum coherence (MQC) can act as an entanglement witness. However, there are doubts that today's NMR signals can contain quantum correlations in general, and specifically in the brain environment. Here, we used a witness protocol based on zero quantum coherence (ZQC) where we minimized the classical signals to circumvent the NMR detection limits for quantum correlation. For short repetitive periods, we found evoked signals in most parts of the brain, whereby the temporal appearance resembled heartbeat-evoked potentials (HEPs). We found that those signals had no correlates with any classical NMR contrast. Similar to HEPs, the evoked signal depended on conscious awareness. Consciousness-related or electrophysiological signals are unknown in NMR. Remarkably, these signals only appeared if the local properties of the magnetization were reduced. Our findings suggest that we may have witnessed entanglement mediated by consciousness-related brain functions. Those brain functions must then operate non-classically, which would mean that consciousness is non-classical.

A more succinct way to put it is:

...the signal indicating entanglement was only present during conscious awareness, which was illustrated when two subjects fell asleep during the MRI. When they did, this signal faded and disappeared.

Seeing entanglement in the brain may show that the brain is not classical, as previously thought, but rather a powerful quantum system. If the results can be confirmed, they could provide some indication that the brain uses quantum processes. This could begin to shed light on how our brain performs the powerful computations it does, and how it manages consciousness.

Now what does this mean for your average extradimensional traveler? Our brains rely on quantum entanglement to think.

This poses a difficult problem if the string harmonics of the space you're traveling to are in a different key than what your mind is used to. A quick primer on string theory as it relates to quantum gravity is important here:

String theory can be seen as a generalization of quantum field theory where instead of point particles, string-like objects propagate in a fixed spacetime background, although the interactions among closed strings give rise to space-time in a dynamic way. Although string theory had its origins in the study of quark confinement and not of quantum gravity, it was soon discovered that the string spectrum contains the graviton, and that "condensation" of certain vibration modes of strings is equivalent to a modification of the original background. In this sense, string perturbation theory exhibits exactly the features one would expect of a perturbation theory that may exhibit a strong dependence on asymptotics (as seen, for example, in the AdS/CFT correspondence) which is a weak form of background dependence.

This poses a difficult set of questions for the neurosurgeon, and as I've encountered a number of extradimensional patients with symptoms of extreme and often explosive psychosis, I'd like to provide the following checklist of triage techniques to the doctors, residents, and nurses in the audience in hopes of saving more lives:

  1. What string harmonic frequency is your dimension tuned to, and at what frequency does your patient originate from?

As you can all hear, our current dimension is tuned to F, half a step down from the tone the traditional consensual dimension most of us term as "real reality" generates.

As such, there's a slight risk of madness for those of you from "real reality", as the quantum entanglement between the molecules that make up "real reality" and the 13th floor is stretched. Determining the frequency is key to an effective diagnosis. Dimensions with higher harmonic variances can often be extremely destructive to the patient traveling within, increasing the risk of psychosis substantially.

  1. Ensure sterilization of quantum static in the operating theater and properly harmonize all surgical tools before surgery.

Ignoring this step can result in an extreme vibratory response in the patient, risking stroke, cardiac arrest, and explosive decompression. Check thrice - you'll thank me.

  1. Use light, not knives

Traditional scalpels and surgical tools will likely result in injury to the patient due to harmonic dissonance, and should only be used in extreme circumstances. I recommend using properly tuned laser scalpels, as they're readily available in most cases, but recent advances in quantum nanobot technology suggest that they may be the way of the future on the extradimensional operating floor.

  1. Recovery relies on return

This is my final point, and one I feel that's necessary to point out to our audience. Unless your patient has superhuman healing qualities, they will not heal properly until they return to their own dimension - the quantum entanglement is stretched too thin - both for their neurons to function properly, and for the cells in their body to heal. This dynamic persists in most extradimensional spaces. Often times return will remove the need for surgery, as the mind goes into overdrive healing it's stretched sting particles - as evidenced by the oft used trope of instantaneous recovery after an extradimensional adventure in movies and film.

That concludes my talk, and I hope it makes your journeys a little safer. Please feel free to ask your questions below - I will answer as many as best I can while I'm here at the #Space_Cowboy conference.

Arigato, and before I forget, the Hong Kong Cavaliers and I are doing a show on the Warp Stage tomorrow at 8 - hope to see you all there.

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  • That was a really fun read, super creative!

    One question though, there have been some recent studies that the harmonic dissonance can have an effect on the patients sedation during the surgery, can you shed some light on if, and how one can counteract these negative effects through the framework you've just described?

    • Excellent question - thank you for bringing it forward.

      Safe sedation in an extradimensional space can be challenging. As you know, in conventional reality, an anesthesiologist must go through extensive training to ensure that proper dosages based on the patient's physiology, age, and weight are applied without harm. In other dimensions, this is further complicated as the anesthesiologist must not only determine the natural frequency of the patient, but also of the medication itself.

      However, unlike the technique of simply harmonizing the frequencies to ensure your surgical tools don't induce catastrophic quantum vibration, medication has to be more precisely tailored to both the originating frequency of the patient and the current frequency of the dimension occupied to properly sedate the patient without asphyxiation, or worse, creating a quantum resonance cascade leading to uncontrolled mutation.

      As such, my esteemed colleague and bandmate, Dr. New Jersey (notably the first person to wear a cowboy hat in the 8th dimension), spent a great deal of time developing a solution. His brilliant hypothesis has been tested multiple times in the field, and while unconventional, I think that with proper peer review, it will likely be confirmed as established theory. He calls it Narcotic Quantum Waltzing, or NQW.

      What Dr. Jersey discovered was that while matching frequencies between the medication and the current dimension caused a quantum resonance cascade, as did matching the medication with the patient, if you harmonized the frequency of the medication between the two differing frequencies, it creates a half-way point of quantum entanglement between the patient's physiology and their current dimension. What he also found was that the pattern of application was also important based on the patients biorhythms. A single dose would work for a moment, but then collapse into a cascade. However, small doses applied with at precise locations on the dermis through injection in a rhythmic pattern, each containing a dosage vibrating at the mid-point of the two frequency points (of patient and dimension), resulted in no harm to the patient.

      Coincidentally, the rhythmic pattern he discovered that worked for this application was "1.. 2.. 3.. 1.. 2.. 3.. 1.. 2.. 3.. 1.." - a waltz.

      Now, in my lecture, I did briefly touch on the use of quantum nanotechnology, and this is where it shines, as the nanobots can precisely deliver the medication to the intended neural receptors based on the individual harmonic resonance of the cells using the NQW technique. If you don't have nanobots available, I recommend utilizing an anesthesiologist with excellent dexterity, a firm grasp of musical theory, and extensive experience as a drummer.