Something that has always bothered me about this joke: Don’t news stands generally have the front page visible, to entice people? So like, you’d know well before you bought one.
Edit: I’m illiterate. I’ve heard this joke before as “guy buys a paper, looks at the front page, throws it away”. But this version actually makes sense.
'scans the front page, doesn't buy the paper'. right. that's the joke. that it's for someone important enough for their death to make the front page, which is visible without buying the paper.