Am I the jerk here?
Am I the jerk here?
Aunt: I'm going to Walmart, do you need anything?
Me: no thanks, I'm going there later to do some shopping myself
Aunt: But we could combine trips! It's wasteful to both drive there on the same day! The responsible thing to do---
Me: ok, I give up. Please get me cat litter and cat snacks.
Aunt: Ok!!!! :)) Which ones? And what isle? What color is the package---
Me: exasperated Are you serious? I caved and gave you what you wanted. Now you're asking for more information? I told you I wanted to do my own shopping, and you fought me on it. I'm making a peace offering by giving you two items to buy for me, and you're saying I need to go find the names and package colors and isle numbers? Please just be satisfied with what I gave you.
The thing that she wants is to feel good about buying me something. But I don't want that. That's the disagreement.
I imagine most people would see me as the asshole here: she can't buy the right item if I don't tell her what it is. But I clearly don't care about those details; if I wanted something specific I would have told her that. The only reason I mentioned them was to appease her. I'm giving her something she wanted, something I wanted for myself, and she's demanding more.
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Why not followup with - 'it doesn't matter the color brand flavor or type of litter, and the pet cat isle, thanks you for grabbing these items for me'.
I don't see why you'd get upset with a logical follow-up clarification question
There is more backstory I recon. Also poster is likely on the spectrum.
"reckon" not "recon". Your casual misuse of language suggests you're not qualified to diagnose anyone's mental health, but I'm not interested in anything you'd be offering anyway. Have a day. 🫱
It's "aisle," not "isle," by the way.
Please go to therapy.
I didn't follow up because I was already pushed past my limit. My aunt and I disagreed because we both wanted a thing, and only one of us could have it. I caved and gave it to her, and she asked for more.
I got upset with a logical follow-up clarification question for the reason in my original post (lol): "I clearly don't care about those details; if I wanted something specific I would have told her that. The only reason I mentioned them was to appease her."
Then you should be saying that to your aunt, instead of losing your patience. People aren't MIND readers. It is as easy as "I will use any brands you buy."
If you get this irate over normal life (consistantly), then you should talk to a professional.
Edit: asks if I'm the asshole? Gets irate when people say yes. :). If the issue is your aunt being overbearing check out the DEARMAN principle. It will help you with relations.
I should? What else should I be doing in this relationship? Lol. You keep saying I should get help, but I think you're got a weird idea about what help is. Seems like your idea of "help" is minimizing other people's pain and ignoring context when it's convenient. I'll pass, thanks. I'm going to ban you from my instance so you won't be able to respond like this any further, it's hurtful and I deserve better.