Rufus is what the instructions said to download and then a list of prompts to enter in the command line. I understand none of those prompts, literally a completely different language.
I am using an old laptop that has windows 7 on it. Figured it didn't matter if I screwed that up since it was old and not in use.
What instructions are you following? Last time I used Rufus on Windows, it had a graphical interface with reasonable default settings and zero messing around on the command line. (I mean, I sometimes did once I was booted into Linux, but I was using distros where that's not unexpected.)