If brands were brutally honest. What brand would have what slogan?

Nike

Just let poor Asian underage and underpaid workers do it

McDonald's

I'm lovin' the wild deforestation of the Amazon rainforest that comes with it

Apple

Think different but still buy our piece of shit overpriced products so you won't feel excluded from the flock of moronic sheep you crave attention from

[edit: more came to my mind]