Any advice on diffusing arguments for conversations i'm not apart off?

Maybe try to help people see the other person’s perspective? It really helps to put yourself in someone else’s shoes but, I think, people are not very good at it. They mostly just see how ‘they’ feel and how ‘they’ think. Often talking to people feels like I’m talking to a wall, like what I’m saying is not even getting through… I’m in a healthy long-term relationship, and I think part of the reason why we still get along is because I’m willing to do that (my partner is capable of doing this also). If we argue I will take the time to try to understand them. I might still judge them at first and feel upset (and assume the worse like they’re being selfish or not a good person), but if I discuss it and take the time to try to understand them and where their actions are coming from, the upset feeling usually dissipates. I was angry with them because I didn’t fully understand why they behaved in a certain way. Once it’s clarified, there’s an aha moment and I can understand their actions better.

Relationships can be hard because everyone has their own way of making sense of things, or of doing things. People really don’t understand each other very well, you kind of have to take the time to do it. If you’re dealing with someone who’s not willing to see your side, then I’m afraid you’re out of luck. :(