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LGBTQ+ @lemmy.blahaj.zone Blahaj_Blast @lemmy.blahaj.zone

How old were you?

How old were you when you began questioning/considering you weren't "normal"? I'm in my 30s and almost all at once feel like I'm not sure what I am in most demensions and struggling to figure out what I feel about anything. I've been married, happily for a while, which adds a little to the confusion.

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  • I began to question my sexuality early -- somewhere around age 10. That process continued for a full decade until, at age 20, I admitted to myself that I was 100% gay with no qualifications.

    One factor acting against me in my search for self knowledge was my limited vocabulary; society -- or at least the part of it I was attuned to -- didn't have expressive language beyond "gay, straight or bi" and it was hard to decide whether I could wear any of those unsubtle labels. I also had to deal with some internalized homophobia and a lack of queer role models or acquaintances in my life.

    If it's any help, I can see, in retrospect, that I spent too much time considering how to label myself and not enough time considering how I felt and how I wanted to act on those feelings. It is only by knowing our feelings and acting on them, repeatedly, that we truly come to understand who are are; how we identify is, in some ways, secondary to those concerns.

    • Thanks for that last part. While somewhere in the back of my mind those ideas were floating around, seeing it written by someone else really helped reel some stuff in. I did question how I felt, and then thought about labels maybe being relevant that I never remotely considered a possibility and got super tripped up on that.

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