Skip Navigation

How do you come to terms with death?

I think since having become divorced from religion (at least with Christianity, I still find Dharmic spirituality interesting, but I still don't believe in the supernatural), the idea of death has become a bit more difficult for me.

I tell myself that I am okay with dying, since it's inevitable, and out of my control, but I think deep down, when I really think about the end of my existence, there is some deep terror there, perhaps related to the fear of the unknown. I can think of all kinds of fantastic quotes about death and finding peace with it, but when I think about what it will feel like to die, it instills great terror within me.

It's not even a fear of the pain or anything. Just a fear of what may or may not be next. I think part of it too is some sort of fear of missing out. A fear of not getting to see the great things that are to come in this world. A fear of not having the time to learn the innumerable interesting things that there are to learn. So much to learn, and so little time. I think it also has to do with the thought of being forever separated from my loved ones. From my partner. From the person who I share my life with and have created my life with. Imagining being separated from her for an eternity, it brings me to tears.

Interestingly, this is a fear I've always had, ever since I was a child. I remember being 4 or 5 years old and asking my dad what happens after death, what death feels like, where my friends will go after death, and remember him becoming almost frustrated with my questioning, because these are obviously answers he doesn't have and are honestly fairly strange thoughts for a child so young to be pondering.

For some reason, death has always been something on my mind since I was a child, and a very emotional thought at that. I think my brief stint of being religious from early childhood into mid-teen years was an emotional 'band-aid' of sorts, but since I've come to the conclusion that I truly don't know what death will feel like or what will happen after death, these thoughts have again started racing through my head, giving me moderate emotional discomfort.

Have any of yourselves come to term with death? How have you managed to find peace with it besides "just don't think about it"?

41

You're viewing a single thread.

41 comments
  • In terms of afterlives I think it’s best to be agnostic. Maybe a will be reincarnated as someone feeling the affects of my karma, maybe not. I don’t think hell exists because that’s kind of evil and arbitrary to lump someone who wasn’t good enough with someone who was the worst person ever. It’s absurd that everyone who hadn’t heard of a religion is damned to eternal suffering.Though, there are some Christian groups that think Jesus abolished hell and now there’s just heaven. It also could be that they are just states of mind, maybe the Buddhist heavenly and hellish realms are also states of mind. However, we can’t know everything, so whether there’s an afterlife, we’re stuck in a Bergsonian loop, or there’s a void, it’s good to do good things and try to affect the world positively. If there is a heaven a dedicated communist is going there.

    • In terms of afterlife, I would say I'm agnostic. When i say I have appreciation for the Dharmic religions, I don't mean that I believe in the supernatural aspects of those religions, more that I appreciate the philosophical undertones present within them. Specifically stuff like Indra’s Net, or anything that stresses that “things aren’t really things, but things are the relationships between things”, if that makes sense. Just the stuff that stresses interconnection and nuance, i find that I can really appreciate and see a lot of crossover with systems science and Marxism. Also, Swami Vivekanda has written some very interesting texts on Socialism based on his time in the USSR, which I found pretty interesting.

      I do agree religion isn’t the end all, be all, and i generally have disdain for religion, i do find that those philosophies have a lot to be appreciated, especially when compared to the purely black and white thinking of abrahamic religion.

      • Basically same. I’m reminded of some very good episodes of revleft on how Buddhism and Marxism can complement each other.

        • Any specific ones i should check out?

          • From shoeless in South Dakota: ‘shoeless in samsara,’ (talks about death) and ‘death anxiety and overcoming life’s tragedies’ (warning: long and random, you your choice whether to)

            From Revolutionary left radio: ‘dialectics & liberation: insights from Buddhism and Marxism,’ ‘zen Buddhism and social transformation,’ ‘Hegelian dialectics: contradiction, Marxism, & the Freudian unconscious,’ the whole ‘dialectics deep dive series’ (long), ‘Karmic law and mutual aid: insights from Buddhism and anarchism’…

            Honestly, every time I go through the revleft backlog there are many more I want to listen to, so I suggest you do that if you finish all of these and want more. (Btw I didn’t link anything because there are too many podcast apps and I didn’t want to assume anything).

41 comments