Leave it on the step and walk away, so you dont have to see me creep out of my house in goblin mode and snack up to bag, breathing heavily, tearing at the packaging before ive even made it back inside.
The whole gig-economy, random motherfuckers delivering your food situation is just impossible for me to get down with. I already worry about the rando who made the food spitting in it, throwing his dingleberries in there, etc.
If I get it delivered by some weirdo, too, am I just supposed to hope that maybe his fecal bacteria will get into a fight with the cook's fecal bacteria, and they'll wipe each other out, by the time I eat it?
My department was outsourced this year. So, I have been working as one of those weirdos while I seek new employment. Most businesses seal the food so the driver can’t touch it without it being VERY obvious. (Like a ripped sticker seal) Just know that not everyone delivering is some creep who wants to put poop in your food. I personally don’t even put orders into the cabin of my car. It goes into the trunk inside a sealable cooler that I provide/clean between shifts.
You really do sound like the guy I'd want delivering my stuff. I think part of my apprehension comes from the way I've seen even medical personnel going about their jobs with a VERY half-assed attitude, toward things like sterility.
Also, I am chronically and genetically cheap-assed. Food is expensive enough (as per OP's meme) that I often go entire calendar years without eating any sort of restaurant food. Getting me to pay for delivery + tip would just be incredibly difficult, from the outset.
Because medical people are SUPPOSEDLY held to an even higher standard. If they suck at being clean, despite standing to lose a truly valuable career, how can I trust underpaid delivery people?
The difference is a medical professional likely has more money to get by with as they make a career change, an underpaid delivery driver loses their job, they can be out on the streets with no shelter, food, or clean water in just a few weeks.
And yet, by all accounts, their standards of behavior are SHOCKINGLY SIMILAR. We've all seen videos of delivery drivers eating food out of the bags. And I've had to stop a medical professional from giving me an injection, without sterilizing the injection site on my skin.
seriously. who wants to spend more money, putting more time and more people handling in between their meal being made and being eaten? Shit, I don't think I've ever ordered pizza delivery in my entire life. Even the pandemic couldn't get my cheap ass to get food delivered