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What do shutdowns and meltdowns actually look like?

I have read about shutdowns and meltdowns. But I don't actually get what that looks like in real time.

What I understand is that meltdowns is when someone loses control of their emotions.

Shutdowns are when someone loses the ability to perform certain functions, e.g. the ability to speak.

I was wondering if someone could give a more explicit example, of what that actually looks like?

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  • For me, a shutdown is when I “burn out”. I can’t be around people, do my basic tasks like laundry or eating. I stop answering my phone, sometimes even placing it on “do not disturb”. I tend to be on the couch a lot if not the bed. It can last 1-2 days or sometimes weeks. On the rare occasion, I can be out for a month or more. During these times, I wither wither away, become really skinny, or someone comes to take care of me.

    Meltdowns are when I’ve reached my limit of external stimuli or social bullshit. I either go to my room and lay in bed or try to distract myself. If I’m somewhere else, I try to go to the bathroom for like 30 mins if I feel one coming on. If a person doesn’t let me escape, then I become antagonistic and start “telling the truth” as I like to call it. I call them out on their bullshit very sternly and directly. I don’t cushion it. It tends to be hurtful to the person, but in the moment, I don’t care since they are being hurtful towards me, so I see it as defending myself.

    My abusive ex was a therapist and realized I was autistic before I even did. She would trigger meltdowns on purpose to then gaslight me into thinking I was abusive, garner pity from other people, and make others hate me. I ended up losing the majority of my friends. So, it’s really important to be aware of your meltdowns, triggers, and when they are coming. It’s also just as important to protect yourself from abusive people by being highly selective of who you choose to be around. I will never ever let someone like that in my life again.

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