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The correct answer is an unlucky sentient manhole cover, that incidentally was thinking “Oh no, not again”.
Love the HH reference, but you're the second person to mention a manhole cover. What's the story there?
If I recall correctly the fastest object ever was a manhole cover after an explosion. If it was sentient then it would be the fastest creature.
BRB, going to look up the incedent.
Edit: Here you goDuring the Pascal-B nuclear test of August 1957, a 900-kilogram (2,000 lb) iron lid was welded over the borehole to contain the nuclear blast, despite Brownlee predicting that it would not work. When Pascal-B was detonated, the blast went straight up the test shaft, launching the cap into the atmosphere at a speed of more than 66 km/s (41 mi/s; 240,000 km/h; 150,000 mph). The plate was never found. Scientists believe compression heating caused the cap to vaporize as it sped through the atmosphere.
A one ton iron vent cap (sewer plate) moved so fast it vaporized. Iron into gas, just add velocity in atmo. That's so fucking cool.
No, it was clearly not cool, hence the vaporization.
Here you go! It’s a fun read.
the nuclear blast ended up having a yield 50,000 times greater than predicted
That's what's known in the industry as "an oopsie". Almost at the "snafu" threshold over which it would be likely to cause a brouhaha.
It was within their safety factor of 50,001