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There's a part of me that really wants something to take over my body or replace myself with an entirely different person who does all of the things I struggle with. Even if it wasn't a person, if it did work and made my family and friends proud then I could stop struggling.
Oof.
I feel this all to well.
I highly recommend reading https://www.strugglecare.com/book .
It's not self-help. It's not going to "fix" you.
But reading it was some of the best therapy I've ever received. If you're at all like me, maybe it will help you too. I am happier, as are the people I love and who love me, in large part because of K.C. Davis' philosophy. (The people I love and who love me are also very empathetic and understanding, which I know is definitely not true for most people unfortunately).
It's less than $20.
It's short.
Buy it. If you can't afford it, I might even be willing to buy it for you / venmo you $20 to get it.
Also available in your library / Libby.
Also available as an audiobook.