I mean that's exactly me only that my boss and some coworkers who are super nerds keep praising my working-for-only-1-year-now ass so it's a battle between insecurities and people telling me I'm doing good.
I have an even bigger problem. I have no reference within my company, I am the one who knows the most about programming, which is why praise is inherently hollow because it comes from people who couldn't make a proper judgement on that.
It's like me praising someone playing the piano. Like, I can tell if I like it, but this goes basically only to the point of recognize if someone just plays very badly or not.
Your self-awareness is a good sign. My predecessor was a self-taught cowboy coder with no one to draw comparisons with. He was the lead (read: only) software engineer at my company, barring fresh graduates that didn't know any better.
Then I came along to point out all of his anti-patterns & cruft. By that point, he was too entrenched & self-assured in his abilities to listen to reason. Some people have imposter syndrome, others are imposters that failed upwards in spite of their incompetence.
Sean, if you're reading this - fuck you. I'm still coming across code you refuctored
You clearly have it worse. I find myself really lucky because I started out in a rather small company but with some very passionate programmers whom I can look up to.