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This is something that lemmy devs need to better address. This is an "Eternal September" kind of situation. People (me included) are not used to the fediverse. They think you can participate only if you're in that instance. And people want content, so they think "why's the instance with most people? Ahh lemmy.ml? Cool, let's join.
yeah. i think the other problem is that people don't know if the instance would be good performance wise. i.e. i joined lemmy.ml because it was the one i found first.
A good way to handle it would be to have an instance list. with number of users vs maximum users. like joining a server in a video game. if i see its super full, i'll pick another server. of course, we'd need some large banners to make sure people know they won't be missing out on other instances.
I would go one step further that the instance thing should be transparent. Like when you sign up, some process could determine from a "neutral instances pool" which is the one you should join, then when you log in you're in that instance but you don't really know where you are. It just "works". That probably requires a lot of rework and sharing login infomration between instances. But as a more "aspirational thing"
This is something that lemmy devs need to better address.
I mean, it's not like there are big warnings at the top of lemmy.ml's sign-up page and join-lemmy.org that tell you not too (with a link where to find other instances)... *end sarcasm
But really, how much more adressing do they need to do? Just close off join requests all together? Because I don't think it can be much more clear to be honest.
Yeah it's there "This house is full, please go to another one.." but unless you know what's up. That could be a huge deterrent to new users which I don't think it's the goal. I now know how this fediverse thing works and that it doesn't really matter which instance I'm using. But for a lot of new users that concept doesn't even register. So it needs to be more transparent from a UX perspective. Sure we could leave it as a sort of "gatekeep" and from a certain point of view it makes sense. It all depends on what the lemmy devs what to achieve.