I don't want to get into specifics, but I just couldn't live like that any longer. After about a year of sobriety I realized that I didn't have many positive memories associated with alcohol.
Being sober actually allowed me to start reflecting on my life and lead me to start thinking about things. Ironically, it was also a catalyst into me learning about Marxism as well.
Dude. Sobriety was so important in my radicalization and moving from disaffected and alienated to educated and principled. I didn’t realize how badly alcohol had lead me astray until things got out of hand, and now I too am multiple years sober. Keep it up!