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I always loved it when metal shows would come to the bars I worked at.
Not like, here's some disturbed MU-WHA-HA-HA or anything on the radio, but Black/Doom/War/Poli/Sludge/Thrash really subculture shit. As someone who played a lot of punk music in life, I always could appreciate metal like that. The scene, talent, devotion and in some cases being fucking out there nuts, was always rad. Played tons of cross over shows, too. Made great friends.
That years later, can still bring a tear to my eye every time I think of the "tiny thank you's"
Like the singer is guttural as fuck. Blood is coming off the finger tips of the guitar players as he's hitting the reverb tank for nightmare juice, the drummer is fucking sober and the perfect specimen of what the ideal metal killing machine would be and the bass player is still like, "yeah, i'm in a metal band making the bass go brrrrrr" and being all bass player.
Ten minute wall of metal pounds those in front like an assault. Every long hair looks like a hair dye commercial as their locks and beards are sonic-ally blown behind them as the final verses come to an almost shit educing growl at the end being forced from the most darkest evil parts of the bowl that makes women inexplicably become 6 months 6 days and 6 fucking hours pregnant. And the loser boyfriend who wasn't even there is still the daddy.
As you see the titans of rage and petulance gather themselves back to gather, the nineteen foot tall product of satanic science, his demon parents fucking and hard fucking drugs brings the mic to his mouth and says...... in a very well mannered, often kinda high pitched and nerdy toned voice waving and pointing at people smiling all big a dumb.... he squeeks....
^ Hey guys, thansk everyone for coming out. it's been great. Shout out to milos dad and uncle for making it out. Super cool guys. So uhhhhhh, agin, we're ILLITERATE GOAT PORNOGRAPHERS OF PLANET FUCKING DEATH and this song is called "We gotta nuke something. thanks again everyone! babe, grab me a beer ^ ONE TWO THREE FOUR and back into the face melting talents i will never in my life posses.
But going from apocalypse to accountant thanking the fam back to doom train always had me laughing endlessly. Even knowing it was coming, it will still make me giggle. What they do is professionalism and courteous.
Fucking Metal.
Youtube the death metal vocal trainer. the videos with the old woman and Devin Townsend caliber singers makes it all come together.
Now babble like a moron super power deactivate
This warms my cold dead heart...thanks for sharing!
You're a good writer, I read that 3 times. Very evocative, well-paced, humorous.