Orgasms and food are a waste of time that just makes me feel uncomfortable and I only waste my time with it when it's absolutely necessary. And even then, the faster it's over, the better (even if I might enjoy it in the moment).
People keep saying it's the best thing ever and i'm incredibly confused by that
Even though I do feel more okay with eating a bunch, I too feel people are overhyping this orgasm thing. Like, ew, no thanks. Literally every time I decide Okay, the time has come again, I should probably do it now I think Woah, I could be programming something interesting now, but no, my body wants to fuck. Great.
I do understand the connection to eating things too though. It feels unnneccessary and like some thing you just gotta do sometimes cuz u gotta do it I guess.
Spoken like we share a brain. "ok but I could be productive"
Tho I do feel like it might be a little better if I would get bottom surgery but that's quite a bit in the future. For now i'm just happy that estro killed almost all of my drive.
I know that pain, that feeling of helplessness while waiting for stupid appointments and paperwork while knowing that your entire body is filled with hormones that slowly drive you into insanity. But you know what? Even if it takes as much as another year, it's nothing in comparison to the lifetime you'll have with the correct hormones.
I just internalized the fact that I'm anorexic because everyone told me I am but without any psychologist/therapist ever diagnosing me with it. Thank you so much for showing me that something that describes me so perfectly exists ;-;