Brother, that's not how we talk to people. Everyone here is treated like people and respected for their personhood. This isn't a theatre for bigoted nonsense - there's other platforms available if you want to attack people and get that out of your system.
Show people respect or leave people alone - but don't be like that.
She doesn't like to, she does it because queer people are constantly being attacked and berated and then when we get tired of the shit, people get surprised and go, "oh why are you being so defensive, you're overly reactive". And she isn't insane, she's proud, protective, and proactive with a very low tolerance for any indication of more bullshit.
Personally, I would discuss certain events more fully, try to educate and understand, but, for better or for worse, the person with responsibility for the instance and everybody in it decided less chances rather than more and doesn't give a flying fuck what anybody thinks, and the more you press her, the more she's gonna tyrant all over you, and, honestly, most of the users here have her back because she's got ours.
Just... Be better to people, let others walk away from you if they want without YOU being a crazy person and being sensitive, reactive, and lashing out unnecessarily. You ever think about that perspective? You don't have to say anything, just move along and leave us in peace. Maybe once everything cools down in the future, she'll renegotiate and reanalyze and possibly consider reconnecting. Y'all can defed from us crazy folk if you want at that time. You're free to walk away too.