ich🍷iel
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Ah yes, comedy. I knew those three courses of German in upper secondary would come in Handy (ha ha) one day! But else than that, all I can say in German is "Ich bin ein Gemüse".
As a famous German proverb goes: "Ich möchte diesen Teppich nicht kaufen"
Bitte!
You can add this phrase my former housemate taught his English coworkers:
Ich bin eine Schlange (I am the best!)