Gourd Rule

Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy He's a cowboy and a pumpkin And he loves his cattle so But there's no way he gets lumped in With most cowboys you know He's no outlaw, and he won't quick draw For he despises violence Take a fireside moon over your saloon As he much prefers the silence Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Well it ain't no bluff that life is tough For a gourd out on the range But for all the woes in the life he chose He's never seemed to change With a smile wide and a kerchief tied Around his neck slash waist And he's never riled when a cow runs wild As he'll lasso them post haste Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy But one day when Pumpkin Cowboy was Out tending to his steer A frightened child came from town With a message soft but clear The townsfolk said that he'd end up dead If he didn't heed their warning For they heard that the Cowboy Cat Would be there the next morning Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy It was well-known through the prairie Cowboy Cat had ruined lives And they said he was a devilish man Who liked to play with knives He'd steal your purse, and do much worse If a hairball made him grouchy If you summed up some the deeds he's done With one word, it'd be ouchie Ouchie! Ouchie! Though he had heard tales while on the trails Of the feline fiend reviled Pumpkin Cowboy couldn't leave For his cow was now with child If they ran away, she'd have to stay And she might not survive So he waited by her side all night For the scoundrel to arrive Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Our hero hadn't realized That he'd begun to doze And his mind was awfully groggy When he finally arose He touched the ground and sadly found The thing that he had feared While he slept under the moonless night His cow had disappeared But a moo came from the nearby field And the cry was harsh and chill Cat Cowboy held our hero's cow And he looked like he could kill Pumpkin Cowboy spoke in hurried yells As he pleaded with the Cat He'd give him all his ranch and land He'd let him take his hat But the rascal took no compromise No hat, nor ranch, nor plain He said the thing he wanted most Was just to inflict pain And as Pumpkin Cowboy heard this He ran at such a clip That Cowboy Cat got startled And the knife began to slip And they crashed into each other Cat and Pumpkin, Flesh and Blade And the knife fell to the arid ground And the scoundrel stood, then swayed Cat Cowboy crumpled to the dirt And Pumpkin kneeled beside And cow stood vigil next to him As Pumpkin Cowboy cried He tipped his hat at Cowboy Cat And stood without a sound And when townfolk came to cheer his name Our hero wasn't found Some say he started wandering For greener fields to roam But he didn't bring his cattle And his horse stayed there at home The very next morn, the calf was born The town's own pride and joy And the folks will regale you with a Gourd-geous Tale The tale of a Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy Pumpkin Cowboy!