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it's kinda scary how much i relate to this
Extreme self loathing++
Man the self laothing still comes, even if you were diagnosed. I was on meds only for a very short time. Money and all that because the pills were expensive on my family's insurance.
So yeah, I grew up knowing what was wrong and trying so hard to just seem almost normal on the surface, and now that I'm older and have my own decent insurance I'm scared of who or what I'll be if I ever get back on the pills.
So yeah, yay self loathing.
36 here and 20 years after diagnosis. Somehow my brain still believes it’s a personal failing. At least we’re not alone!
I took dexadrine for 10 of them and I didn’t feel Like a different person… I wouldn’t worry about it, it might make a big difference for you. Also therapy is pretty neat.