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Translation challenge

Translate this piece of news to your conlang (or any conlang you know): People liking turtles better than cops will be pleased to learn a turtle bit off a cop's toe in the Hudson River. (The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924)

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  • I'll start with Shiofaioth:

    Fuin huomo, aokae lie-laik-duei mas uin toroic kuin uin poulaiseir, bue-ecoidae-duei faelid dai opia, daet hui toroic soe-baisen-xoai iroitedaefa hein touras huic poulaiseir-ki duil Rio Hudson.