I actually like Gentoo for the same reason you hate it. But I was a FreeBSD guy for around 10 years before migrating to linux, and I probably some long lasting damage still lingering from that era.
I miss /usr/ports. I could spend days just exploring its contents.
I miss an /etc structure that wasn't a complete mess.
I miss UFS and its soft updates.
I miss the stability of fBSD 3 and 4.
I miss the ease of which you tweaked, compiled, and installed a new kernel.
And just because of the hilarious legacy that was obsolete 20 years beforw I started with it, I miss the concept of font-servers.
The main reason for my migration was the bigger userbase of linux where it was easier to find people who has resolved whatever issue I was having, plus nvidia drivers. Plus I've only needed to use fBSD once professionally.
Well, I like gentoo for it's top notch security and I see why you'd use it for extremely security sensitive applications, but people that use it as a desktop are nuts.