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Have you considered a third option: Being paralyzed by grief and dread over the ongoing apocalypse. Too far removed from it to directly fight back, and yet the world in which you could see a future for yourself is slipping away. Unable to do any of the things you SHOULD be doing to improve your material situation, because what's the point if you'll die without ever getting to live as yourself, to experience even the basic sense of belonging with people like you that will get cis people through this
...and also not texting anyone back, because nobody in your life knows, and you're dependent on people who are known to be phobey, and you'd lose whatever fragile social capital you still have thanks to male privilege and hiding all the
uglynonconformant parts of yourself, and how are you supposed to talk about netflix shows and the weather when your brain is literally just insurrectionary anarchism and traaaaaaaaans, neither of which you can safely act on...and being too paranoid even to shitpost or vent regularly on the internet, because you're afraid you'd give out enough info for someone to dox you, and that would be the end
obligatory :3 so i can pretend i'm still being quirky and funny like everyone else, don't mind me, just silli thoughts~
:3
ok actually i'm feeling a little better rn, this helped. pls don't lose hope, don't let anyone take that from you, you're all gorgeous and valid, and the world needs your beauty and your strength, and i love u :3
oh sweetie, i just want you to know that your far from ugly. i know it can be hard to look at yourself in this way when all you see around you is shitty people who dont want you to be happy, it really sucks i know. i just want to make sure you understand that you will always have a place here, no matter what.
i spent a lot of time thinking about your question over my life, and my answer is that i would rather die than be the person that everybody else wants me to be. i listened to every body else and what they had to say my whole life and it got me nowhere, so i decided to do the opposite, and just do what people told me not to do. its not easy, and i have been through lots of shit, but here i am, feeling better than ever, and still trying to improve.
all i want to try and get across is that i know it can seem hopeless sometimes, but all of us here on blahaj zone are here for you, and even if it seems impossible, you have the power to make positive change in yours and others lives, wouldnt it be so much better to build communities that support each other than feel sorry for ourselves? (not saying you cant be sad, this is totally valid, but unhealthy if its all you focus on)
i love you girl, i hope you feel better soon, and i send you my best wishes <3
this is the nicest thing i have heard in months. this comment feels like a warm hug. i don't know you enough to say this, but i love you so much <3
I don't know if you are ready to hear this stuff, but you posted so I'm gonna say it.
The parts of yourself that you hide in the closet are not ugly. They are beautiful. You are beautiful.
You decide what you should be doing. Improving material conditions only helps when there is something to improve.
Male privilege is nothing compared to authenticity.
I speak from experience. My life started after transition.
I know I speak from a place of privilege (for how long though?). So don't risk your physical safety, but transition has worked out for me and a bunch of people I know.
Best wishes stranger.
well, i know you're right about the 'ugly' part at least, i corrected that. Still working on actually feeling it, but anyway ¯_(ツ)_/¯
thanks for the kind words anyway. at this point i'm pretty clear on who i am and what i should ideally be doing, i just need to work out basic survival atp :)
If you ever need any help or advice, just remember that you have a community of poor transfems here who will always help out our comrades ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶
PM me if you want an ear or a second opinion. It's hard but it's worth doing.
lol same _