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Well obviously lemmygrad, hexbear and lemmy.ml but besides these usual suspects I find that the most negative encounters I've had with people from blahaj.zone and infosec.pub
Bizarre, blahaj is a very nice place IMO. They might be quite quick to kick TERFs & other bad people so keep that in mind (like no jokes about racism or anti LGBT permitted, at all).
I switched over to lemmy.cafe specifically because they are defederated from those three cancer instances. Experience has been pretty great so far! :>
God I've had grad defederate for so long I forgot they were there
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